Sexy Polka

Tight and Nerdy: The First and Only All Weird Al-inspired Burlesque Troupe hits Portland.

On Saturday, Weird Al Yankovic-inspired burlesque, Al-Stravaganza!, comes to the Funhouse Lounge. What will it include? More importantly, what should it include? Here are the five sexy Weird Al numbers I want to see:

"Key Party in the CIA"

Based on: "Party in the CIA," based on "Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus.

Hot CIA agents swap wives while they destabilize countries. Includes fun waterboarding play.

"Amish Bonnet-Fetish Paradise"

Based on: "Amish Paradise," based on "Gangsta's Paradise" by Coolio, based on "Pastime Paradise" by Stevie Wonder.

What's under Al's beard? Find out in this candlelit buttonless striptease. Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1669.

"Beat It"

Based on: "Eat It," based on "Beat It" by Michael Jackson.

Works either way.

"Fat (In a Sexy Butt Way)"

Based on: "Fat," based on "Bad" by Michael Jackson.

It's a badass dance fight in a subway station, but instead of fat suits, the ladies wear butt lifters. And lots of leather.

"Smells Like Nirvana's Naked"

Based on: "Smells like Nirvana," based on "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana.

This is pretty much like the original but Al is naked, and the cheerleaders are naked. Basically everyone is just naked.

"Handsy"

Based on: "Handy," based on "Fancy" by Iggy Izalea.

It's Al in a blond wig as a handyman, and he can't stop putting the moves on the people whose toilets he's fixing. Don't worry, they're into it. By the end, he's in nothing but a tool belt. Keep your eyes on the screwdriver!

SEE IT: Al-Stravaganza! a Burlesque Tribute to Weird Al is at Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., 841-6734, funhouselounge.com. 9 pm Saturday, Nov. 21. $15-$20.

photo from Tight and Nerdy Photo from Tight and Nerdy

Willamette Week

Willamette Week’s reporting has concrete impacts that change laws, force action from civic leaders, and drive compromised politicians from public office. Support WW's journalism today.