9939 SE Stark St., 503-256-0527. 10:30 am-2:30 am daily. Happy hour 10:30 am-5 pm daily: $1.50 wells and domestics pints.
Sassy's rightfully gets all the love for being a totem of what makes Portland's strip-club culture great. But in the no-luck Gateway zone by Mall 205, Club 205 is right there behind it on the list of essential stops when making it rain Washingtons—a prospect made easier by a seven-hour happy hour featuring $1.50 Budweiser or vodka soda. Blessed by an open floor plan that offers bountiful views of all three stages from most vantage points, 205 takes full advantage of the party vibes and pleasing panorama by maintaining a stable of entertainers that runs the aesthetic gamut of the local strip scene.
If a fit young blond lady who was probably selling jeans at Hollister a few months ago isn't your thing, stay put for the next round, which could be anything from a former bikini barista-turned-crystal-clutching-WTFestival acolyte to a gal with pale skin, black bangs and enough Misfits tattoos to make Glenn Danzig blush. As with most strip clubs, the food errs on the side of fried and fatty, with a host of booze-soaking specials like $6 meatloaf and a $13 16-ounce T-bone that effectively wards off the temptation to make your Lyft driver roll through the nearby Taco Bell on the way home. As far as strip clubs in the numbers are concerned, 205 is No. 1.
Bar story: Unlike the club across the street, Mystic, no one's been shot in Club 205's parking lot. So you should probably come here instead.