Shin Tanaka redefines paper dolls: Friday, Guestroom Gallery.

Wednesday April 19

$100 and a T-Shirt

Joseph Biel likes cake and the Pixies. He is a Sagittarius. He enjoys iced tea and especially likes zines—so much that he made a documentary called $100 and a T-Shirt: A Documentary About Zines in the Northwest. Get a behind-the-scenes look at the these underground journals with 70 interviews featuring Northwest zine makers, ex-zine makers and zine readers. Biel will be on hand to answer any burning questions, so you can let him know that you like iced tea, too. Central Library, 801 SW 10th Ave., 988-5123. 6-8 pm. Free.

Friday April 21

Be Our Guest

As the name charmingly implies, Guestroom Gallery features artwork handpicked by influential Portland artists, collectors and galleries. Curated by hottie Katsu Tanaka (of Compound Gallery and Just Be Design), the gallery's upcoming Compound Concoction features Yugo Fugita's illustrated fusion of rock-'n'-roll icons and Beatles lyrics alongside grafitti artist Shin Tanaka's tiny paper replicas of shoes and action figures (plus 10 more artists!). Pretty f-in' sweet. Guestroom Gallery, 128 NE Russell St. (shared space with the Mark Woolley Gallery), 284-8378. 6–9 pm. Free.

Saturday April 22

The Beaver State

Oregon Health & Science University is holding its 11th annual Center for Women's Health Conference, and Pepper Schwartz—one of the nation's leading relationship experts—will be giving a keynote presentation entitled "Revitalizing Sexuality for Physical and Mental Health." I know what you're thinking: What the hell can Pepper tell me that I don't already know? Well, first off, she holds a Ph.D. (from Yale) in sociology, which we all know actually means SEX ED. She also created the Personality Profiler for PerfectMatch.com and penned a monthly sex column for Glamour magazine for over seven years. Apparently she knows a thing or two about the old in-and-out. Oregon Convention Center, 777 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 494-0712. 8:30 am-4:30 pm. $35 (includes vegetarian lunch).

Save a Woodchuck—Go Shopping

To avoid being one of those greedy girls who never reveals where she snags her best cheap clothing finds, I'm gonna let you all in on a semi-hidden gem (but believe you me, I have my reservations about sharing this vital information with y'all): Buffalo Exchange is having its annual Earth Day $1 sale. Select items are only a buck, and all the proceeds benefit the Humane Society's Urban Wildlife Program. There. I said it: They've got cool threads on the cheap, and for a good cause! But that doesn't mean I won't beat you there. Buffalo Exchange, 1036 W Burnside St., 222-3418 and 1420 SE 37th Ave., 234-1302. 10 am-8 pm.

Tuesday April 25

Nothin' Like Cherry Garcia, Man

No matter how crappy of a day you're having, you can never—ever—be upset while stuffing your face with ice cream. Let's make that FREE ice cream. Yeah, now them ears have pricked up. Ben and Jerry are celebrating 28 years of scooping, and with that comes free cones for all. Who would've guessed a regular Tuesday could be so grand? Ben and Jerry's, 39 NW 23rd Place, 295-3033; 524 SW Yamhill St., 546-0450 and 1428 SE 36th Ave., 234-2223. Noon-8 pm.

Anything But Broke

Portland can hold its own when it comes to sweet local women's fashion, but what about all the bros in the house? John Blasioli shows you what he's made of (literally) in his first solo showcase introducing his clothing line, titled "broken spoke." For those of you ad-agency types, he's created his own rendition of the classic men's dress shirt—casual yet sophisticated with offbeat buttons and contrasting, appliqued collars and cuffs (think Calvin Klein meets Modern Amusement). Not to mention that Blasioli's fitted, medium-wash denim jackets are absolutely essential for all you hipsters longing to complete that "Canadian Tuxedo" look. Seaplane, 827 NW 23rd Ave., 234-2409. 7:30 pm. Free.

The Funnies

I guess I never really thought of cartoonists as comedians.... It's kind of like ketchup and tomatoes, related, but definitely different. But Dan Piraro is one fucking funny cartoonist, not to mention an activist and an author. His Bizarro Baloney Show (a one-man variety act) is on tour in conjunction with the release of his 14th book, Bizarro and Other Strange Manifestations of the Art of Dan Piraro. His response to being asked what he would do to ensure his new book be initiated into the wonderful world of Oprah? "I'd give her a sponge bath in a vibrating tub while hand-feeding her Cheetos." Now that would make for one wacked-out cartoon. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 8 pm. $11. All ages (recommended for ages 16+).