Alien, Pirate or Both? UFO Fest keeps Oregon weird while Piratefest—a.k.a. Nautical Renaissance—keeps Ilwaco equally wacko this weekend.

Thursday May 18

Totally Stoked, Brah

For all you sun-kissed, Jack Johnson-lovin', trustafarian water babies, Surfrider Water Werks Sessions presents an epic benefit concert supporting the preservation, integrity and quality of coastal communities. So putt your Woodie over to the Fez for an earful of killer punk, funk and reggae: The Decliners, Bad Goat, American Roulette, Rambling Rose and DJs Stray and El Rubio pitch in for the cause. And your ticket puts you in the running for a surfboard and snowboard raffle. So boss. Fez Ballroom, 316 SW 11th Ave., 221-7262. 8 pm-1:30 am. $10. 21+.Thursday

Sunday May 18-21

Beware, Ye Swashbuckling Scalawags!

Aye, mateys! It's not just ye pirates who get all the booty. This weekend, everyone gets their fair share—at the Port of Ilwaco's Nautical Renaissance. The port hosts a merry melee of sword fighting, traditional sea shanteys, free dockside tall-ship tours (until 6 pm on Thursday), black-powder cannon salutes and more—all to celebrate Pirate Invasion Day. So, wave that Jolly Roger and bring the whole family! Port of Ilwaco, 165 Howerton Ave., Ilwaco, Wash. 360-642-3143. For event and schedule info, visit nauticalrenaissance.com. Most events free, $2-$10 for dockside tours after 6 pm on Thursday, $30-$50 for battle reinactment sail.

Friday May 19

Una Mas!

Let's give some much deserved love to Una, a lil' eastside boutique that's showcasing two local designers, Jess Beebe and Sarah Weick. Their show, "Modern Love, Going Steady," features romantic silk crepe dresses, fine-leaf cotton and linen separates, bright sailor skirts, cream antique lace accouterments, mustard- and paprika-colored silks, and high-waisted matador-inspired frocks. Prepare to fall in love. Una, 2802 SE Ankeny St., 235-2326. 7 pm. Free.

Friday- Saturday May 19-20

Keep Oregon Weird

Support the bizarreness at McMenamins Annual UFO Festival. The gathering hosts a slew of quirky events, from keynote speaker Jesse Marcel Jr. (son of the first official to inspect the 1947 Roswell, N.M., UFO crash site), to a UFO exhibitors tent, a wacky UFO costume parade, an even wackier alien costume contest for pets, documentary screenings and a ufology workshop. I think someone oughta find out if the Brothers Brew are sprinklin' those handcrafted ales with a bit of the crack, if ya know what I'm sayin'. Hotel Oregon, 310 NE Evans St., McMinnville. 472-8427. For event and schedule info, and contest/parade registration, visit ufofest.com. Free (forum or workshop $7; both $12).

Saturday May 20

Stop, Collaborate & Listen

Dark Horse Comics and Adidas Originals have joined forces. A surprising combo, yes, but from this wicked blending of fashion and art comes the debut of Adidas' newest limited-edition shoes and track jacket, designed by Dark Horse President Mike Richardson and the Dark Horse design team. Check out the striking red-and-black goods and celebrate the custom wares spawned by this union at the line's viewing/release party. Portland's Best New Band of 2006, Copy, will perform throughout the party, and Richardson will be on hand to sign shoes, jackets, books and comics. All profits from sales will be donated to the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund. Adidas Heritage Store, 1039 NW Couch St., 223-3109. 3-7 pm. Free.

The Hottest Spot North of Havana

Just in time for summer's onslaught of scantily clad beachgoers, Poppi Swim has popped up on Portland's desperately lacking bathing-suit scene. While most fashionable swimwear options tend to be skimpy, the Poppi line is anything but: Flatter your hot bod in one-piece '40s retro halters with classic boy-cut shorts or try on the two-piece, front-tie bandeau tops. Test the waters at Poppi's grand-opening party, featuring food, drinks, and prizes ranging from suits to flip-flops and gift certificates. Poppi Swim, 4831 NE 42nd Ave., 282-5159. 11 am. Free.

Cum for a Cause

It's the pajama party of the year—and I'm not talking painting each other's toenails and watching Pretty in Pink. This is Theresa "Darklady" Reed's 5th Annual Masturbate-a-Thon. Play in the S/M dungeon, pillow fight, spin the bottle, watch (naughty) videos and strut your stuff for the camera. Don't worry, not all of this erotic debauchery is completely self-serving: The proceeds benefit Friends of People with Aids and the Center for Sex and Culture, among others, so go ahead and toot your own horn. 7 pm-2 am. $25. To RSVP (required) and for directions, email Darklady@darklady.com. 21+.