 |
| ACCEPTED: Stupid done good. |
*NEW* Accepted
The only problem with this silly, implausible and generally lowbrow comedy is that it just doesn't go far enough. Chopped off at the knees by a PG-13 rating, Accepted is the sort of comedy that begs for the added raunch that comes with an R. That said, Accepted is hands down the funniest comedy of the summer, the sort of escapist diversion that provides plenty of laughs. Justin Long stars as Bartleby Gaines, a Ferris Buehler-ish slacker who, much to the shame and disgust of his family, manages to be rejected by every college he has applied to. With the help of some of his peers—several of whom have also not made it into college—Bartleby creates South Harmon Institute of Technology (SHIT for short), an elaborate ruse designed to make parents feel better. Problems arise when an entire student body of slackers and social misfits are accidentally accepted into SHIT. There are bad guys in the form of a neighboring college that wants to demolish the building that houses SHIT, leading to the inevitable losers vs. the popular kids showdown. Accepted looks and sounds so stupid that it is all the more refreshing when it turns out to be as entertaining as it is. PG-13. DAVID WALKER. Opens Friday, Aug. 18. Lloyd Cinema, Eastport, Division St., Oak Grove, Cornelius, Cedar Hills, Evergreen, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Tigard Cinemas, Wilsonville, Cinema 99, City Center, Vancouver Plaza.
Another Gay Movie
The rude, crude and well-lubed Another Gay Movie prides itself on being a queer version of the het-humping American Pie. The story revolves around a group of four eager anal virgins. They're led by Andy, a cardboard-skinny cutie, played by Michael Carbonaro, in a role that not only asks the actor to stick assorted veggies and small animals up his ass but also insists he stick his prick into an egg-based breakfast pastry (hence the American Pie reference). Films like Porky's rarely delve into the political waters that Another Gay Movie splashes around in. Why else would these boys be graduating from San Torum High School, a sly reference to the queer world's most hated elected official? And why else would class valedictorian Griff (Mitch Morris) spend so much time wondering why gay men don't have the same rights straight men do when it comes to getting off? Filmmaker Todd Stephens has made one of the most political queer films to come along in a long time and has draped it in the silliest of genres: the frat boy flick. If that's not genius, then I don't know what is. I can't wait for the sequel. BYRON BECK. Cinema 21, 616 NW 21st Ave., 223-4515. 9:55 pm Wednesday-Thursday, Aug. 16-24.
Army of Shadows
[SHORT RUN] Cool as Novocain and just as unsentimental, auteur Jean-Pierre Melville's gamblers, crooks or, in this case, French resisters during World War II, are always barely a knife's-edge from their last breath. Like their brothers in feudal Japan and the old American West, Melville's trench-coated everymen, and a woman this once (Simone Signoret), follow a Code. To enforce it, they have a Plan, which—while smoking, driving, waiting to be killed—they relentlessly test. How many seconds to run down the hall? How many guards await? Beyond whomever or whatever else they fight, chance and time are persistent enemies. Each tick of the clock says now? now? not yet...now? Released in 1969 and finally debuting in the U.S., Army of Shadows, in a newly restored print, is as elegant, thrilling and predetermined as the greatest of Melville's films (Le Samouraï, Bob le Flambeur). Atypically, it reveals a hint of what stirs beneath the quiet surface: the ideology behind the Code (vaguely scientific, very intellectual) and—quite unexpectedly, in this brutal world—human feelings. As you watch, consider Melville turning his lens on the upheaval of 1942 during the upheaval of 1968 and us watching amid the upheaval of 2006. Now? NR. KELLY M. BRYAN. Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 281-4215. 6:50 pm Wednesday-Thursday, Aug. 16-17. $4-$6.
Barnyard
Not to be confused with all the other animated movies that have come out recently about animals with human characteristics, this one takes place on a farm. Lloyd Mall, Eastport, Division St., Oak Grove, Cedar Hills, Cornelius, Evergreen, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Tigard Cinemas, Wilsonville, Cinema 99, Vancouver Plaza.
Best of CineKink
[SHORT RUN] The New York-based film festival CineKink serves as a showcase for films that present a glimpse into the world sexual behavior outside the mainstream image of a man and woman humping in missionary position. To that end, this collection that represents the best of CineKink's past programs, is certainly an eye-opener. Shorts like Pornographic Apathetic and Polly Wally are funny, and in their own unique way, innocent enough. The short documentary Pup chronicles Master Skip and Pup Tim as they prepare for the International Puppy Contest. If you understand what that means, then this program is for you. And if you're as clueless as I was going in, you owe it yourself to be enlightened. DAVID WALKER. Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton St., 238-8899. 7 and 9 pm, Wednesday, Aug. 16. $4-$6.
Brothers of the Head
[SHORT RUN] I've never seen a movie quite like Brothers of the Head. It's a mock rockumentary about a pair of conjoined twins who were plucked from obscurity in 1974 and made into rock stars. The film is not a comedy, exactly, though it has laughs. It's more an off-kilter exercise in uniqueness, as if someone had said, "Here's a weird story. Let's tell it in a weird way." In the end, it's almost a cautionary tale about the excesses of fame—but come on, it's about Siamese-twin rock stars. How can you not smile the whole way through? ERIC D. SNIDER. Cinema 21, 616 NW 21st Ave., 223-4515. 7 pm Wednesday-Thursday, Aug. 16-17. $4-$7.
*NEW* Dark Water Rising: The Truth About Hurricane Katrina Animal Rescues
[SHORT RUN] A piteous meow emerging from footage of ruined houses and a voiceover describing the stench of dead bodies tells you right away this is not going to be a movie that pulls its punches. One year after Hurricane Katrina, Portland filmmaker Mike Shiley (Inside Iraq) presents his excellent documentary about the fate of the 50,000 pets left behind in the disaster. FEMA rules forbade residents to bring their pets along when they were evacuated, so dogs and cats spent weeks locked in houses or chained in yards. Many starved or drowned. But what could've been a mawkish sobfest is instead an unflinching look at the determined characters who volunteered to search houses for surviving pets. Using animals as a focus, the film also takes an oblique look at how messed-up New Orleans' poorest sectors were even before Katrina: fear-wielding cops, dogfights, houses unfit for human habitation. The epilogue shows some of the positive changes that have come about as a result of the disaster, but it's also grimly honest about the costs to human and animal life alike. Shiley will introduce the film at all screenings. BECKY OHLSEN. Cinema 21, 616 NW 21st Ave. 7:30 pm Thursday, Aug. 17. Laurelhurst Theater, 2735 E Burnside St., 7 pm Friday-Wednesday, Aug. 18-24. Additional shows 1 pm Saturday and Sunday.
The Descent
After a tragic accident shatters the life of Sarah (Shauna Macdonald), her friends try to help her heal. Along with five others, Sarah embarks on a cave-exploring trip that starts out innocently enough, but when a cave-in traps the six women, their situation turns dire. As the women struggle to find a way out of the massive cave, something emerges from the shadows—a pasty white creature that looks almost human. It turns out the intrepid ladies are not alone and that the cave is home to flesh-eating creatures that begin to prey on our heroines. Taking its time to set up the premise and introduce the characters, The Descent is a beautifully crafted horror film that draws inspiration from such classics as Alien, John Carpenter's The Thing, and even Deliverance. Director Neil Marshall understands what makes horror effective and delivers one of the best genre films in recent years. R. DAVID WALKER. Lloyd Mall, Eastport, Division St., Oak Grove, Cornelius, Cedar Hills, Evergreen, Movies on TV, Tigard Cinemas, Wilsonville, Cinema 99, Vancouver Plaza.
The Devil Wears Prada
Anne Hathaway stars as Andy Sachs, a recent college grad who moves to New York to pursue a career in journalism. Andy's naive eyes are open wide when she lands a job as the assistant to Miranda Priestly (Meryl Streep), the icy dragon-queen editor of high-fashion magazine Runway. Streep does a comically brilliant turn as the film's complex villain, without ever becoming the tired cliché that defines most comedic foils. What could easily have been another dumbed-down entry in the tired chick-flick genre manages to shine through as one of the most entertaining films of the summer. PG-13. DAVID WALKER. Pioneer Place, St. Johns Twin, Lloyd Mall, Eastport, Moreland, Cedar Hills, Tigard Cinemas, City Center.
Flicks on the Bricks
[SHORT RUN] The other outdoor film series, this weekly showcase features family-friendly movies projected under the night sky. This week: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Pioneer Courthouse Square. Show begins at dusk Friday, Aug. 18. Free.
Head Trauma
[SHORT RUN] Horror fans may recognize the name Lance Weiler as one of the directors of 1998's The Last Broadcast, a Blair Witch-like film that actually came before the acclaimed cult film. Weiler's follow-up has some of the same shortcomings of other low-budget, indie horror flicks, but what it does have going for it is an unrelenting creepiness. George (Vince Mola) is an already disturbed man who returns to the abandoned house he inherited from his grandmother. The house is a ramshackle mess condemned to a date with a wrecking ball, but George is determined to save the home and clean it up. But someone, or something, is determined to keep George from fixing the house, not to mention holding on to his sanity. DAVID WALKER. Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 281-4215. Friday-Thursday, Aug. 18-24. $4-$6.
An Inconvenient Truth
Former Vice President Al Gore spells out the clear and present danger of global warming, which according to George Bush is a myth—sorta like his winning the election. PG. Fox Tower, Lloyd Mall, Cornelius, Tigard Joy.Little Miss SunshineThere are laughs aplenty in Little Miss Sunshine, though they're not the kind that make a movie a classic. Like hundreds of indie films before it, it's about a dysfunctional family in which everyone is screwed up in some particular way. Dad (Greg Kinnear) is a failed motivational speaker, Grandpa (Alan Arkin) is a heroin addict, Uncle Frank (Steve Carell) is a suicidal gay Proust scholar, 15-year-old Dwayne (Paul Dano) has sworn a vow of silence after reading too much Nietzsche, and pudgy 7-year-old Olive (Abigail Breslin) wants to enter beauty pageants. Only Mom (Toni Collette) has her act together. The six embark on a road trip to California, where Abigail is a contestant in the Little Miss Sunshine pageant, and all manner of bickering, sulking and vehicular wackiness ensues. It's a comedy of angst, with bitter, dark laughs that belie its eventual "families gotta stick together" message, and while some elements are derivative—the extended corpse-stealing sequence is a bit too National Lampoon's Vacation—the sharp comic performances from Kinnear and Carell help you overlook it. R. ERIC D. SNIDER. Fox Tower, Lloyd Cinema, Eastport, Cedar Hills, Evergreen, Cinetopia, City Center.
Miami Vice
Jamie Foxx and a terribly miscast Colin Farrell (looking like a joke with his bad hairstyle and moustache) replace Philip Michael Thomas and Don Johnson as Miami detectives Rico Tubbs and Sonny Crockett, a not-so-dynamic crime-fighting duo looking to bust up a multinational drug-smuggling operation. The plot, complete with multitiered crime operations, sadistic bad guys and superfluous love interests, is straight outta the original television series. But director Michael Mann is so determined to fill the script with contemporary techno-speak and crime-fighting techniques, as well as detached coolness, that the film is both confusing and lifeless. Die-hard fans of the show may enjoy this disappointing mess, but few others will. Ain't it a crime? R. DAVID WALKER. Lloyd Mall, Eastport, Division St., Cedar Hills, Movies on TV, Cinema 99, City Center.
*NEW* Once in a Lifetime
Every four years, the World Cup rolls around serving as a reminder that even though soccer is the most popular sport in the world, it has never caught on in the United States. But that's not to say that there wasn't a time when soccer—or football as it's called in other parts of the world—didn't come close to becoming hugely popular in this country. Documentary filmmakers Paul Crowder and John Dower track the meteoric rise and equally spectacular crash and burn of the New York Cosmos, the professional soccer team that in the 1970s helped place the sport in the collective consciousness of the U.S. Through a wealth of archival footage and current interviews, the film looks at how soccer was imported into the country, and how it was sold to the public. And for a brief moment, thanks in no small part to Brazilian player Pele and his bicycle kick, the sport did become a huge phenomenon. But bad business and even worse egos all worked to destroy what could have been a sustained following for professional soccer. Though Once in a Lifetime is sure to appeal to soccer fans, the film and story it recounts is intriguing enough to captivate non-fans as well. PG-13. DAVID WALKER. Fox Tower.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp, mincing even more thoroughly than last time) and his pals (Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom) get into and out of trouble in such rapid succession that they never actually have to speak to each other on screen at all. It's all a lot of fun, as was the first movie, but watching it, you wish for about five minutes of "quiet time" in which the actors get a chance to act. PG-13. BECKY OHLSEN. Pioneer Place, Lloyd Cinema, Eastport, Division St., Oak Grove, Cedar Hills, Evergreen, Forest, Hilltop, Movies on TV, 99W Drive-In, Tigard Cinemas, Wilsonville, Cinema 99, Cinetopia, City Center, Vancouver Plaza.
A Prairie Home Companion
Director Robert Altman's film is set backstage at Garrison Keillor's famed radio show, during what is likely to be its last performance (don't worry, fans, the movie is fiction), with folks like Woody Harrelson, John C. Reilly, Meryl Streep, Lily Tomlin and Lindsay Lohan playing regular guest performers. The film retains Keillor's wry, cornball sensibilities, and Altman makes his presence known with long, unbroken takes from Steadicams that float around the theater like silent and omniscient observers. PG-13. ERIC D. SNIDER. Hollywood Theatre. 4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 281-4215. $4-$6.
The Puffy Chair
The filmmaking duo of brothers Jay and Mark Duplass offers a breath of fresh air with this ultra-low-budget indie film. The bare-bones plot is simple enough: Twentysomething slacker Josh (Mark Duplass) embarks on a road trip to pick up a vintage, purple La-Z-Boy recliner he's won on eBay, which he plans to give to his father as a birthday present. For a movie that cost around $15,000 to produce, the Duplass brothers' film has a lot going for it. Older brother Jay's direction and cinematography give the film a voyeuristic, documentary feel, and Mark's writing and acting work with his brother's behind-the-camera technique to give The Puffy Chair a sense of reality and honesty that never seems contrived or manufactured. DAVID WALKER. Fox Tower.
*NEW* Quinceañera
Yes, it's a trite story line. Yes, the actors could have been plucked off the streets of downtown L.A. (translation: The acting is mas o menos). But even still, Quinceañera manages to keep its chin up, with an element of complete authenticity that most films these days are hard-pressed to muster. It probes the juxtaposition of traditional Latin customs and values with today's whitewashed integration and expectations. "Quinceañeras" (15th birthday parties) are sanctioned as the most traditional celebration in a young Mexican girls' life, marking her religious ascent into womanhood; the film shows the ritual clouded by fanciful, expensive dresses and Hummer limos. Passing shots of the summer heat bearing down on the sullied streets of Echo Park, throngs of Hispanic vendors, sports team jerseys hanging from every possible groove, fruit flies, fleshy crying babies and Spanish salsa music blaring are all sentiments reminiscent of a time before the gentrification of one of L.A.'s very first Hispanic communities. Quinceañera candidly welcomes the audience in on an unbridled 'day-in-the life' of living as a Latina or Latino American, through a pregnant 14-year-old daughter of a preacher; a gay gang-banger; a withering, wizened great-uncle; and teenagers grinding at a quinceañera celebration. It's a much appreciated invitation into a rich culture rarely captured so truthfully on screen. R. ELIANNA BAR-EL. Opens Friday, Aug. 18. Fox Tower.
A Scanner Darkly
This confusing adaptation of Philip K. Dick's novel takes place in the near future, when the highly addictive drug Substance D has ravaged much of the population. In the battle to keep the drug off the streets, the cops employ anonymous undercover agents clad in Scramble Suits, special holographic-projection suits that make whoever dons them appear to be anyone and everyone at the same time. Director Richard Linklater utilizes the same rotoscope animation technique he used for his pretentious Waking Life. The key problem is that it is difficult to tell if the film would be any good if it weren't animated. You spend more time trying to "see" the movie without the animation than you do just watching it, because, at the end of the day, the animation is more distracting than innovative, cleverly disguising a film that isn't as good as it appears to be. R. DAVID WALKER. Fox Tower, Cinemagic.
Scoop
Woody Allen plays Woody Allen as a magician. Things start to get funny when, during his lady vanishes act, volunteer-from-the-audience Sondra (Scarlett Johansson) isn't the only one found in the box at the end of the trick. The ghost of recently deceased British journalist Joe Strombel (Ian McShane) is in there, too. And he's on a mission. While on the boat to the afterlife, Strombel picked up a tip that respected London aristocrat Peter Lyman (Hugh Jackman) is the infamous "Tarot Card Killer," and he won't let death discourage him from the scoop of a lifetime. He encourages Sondra to investigate, and with the help of Sid (Allen), she does. A lighthearted, glossier version of Manhattan Murder Mystery, Scoop has everything a Woody Allen fan needs and some great one-liners to boot: "I was born of the Hebrew persuasion, but when I got older, I converted to narcissism." Classic. PG-13. TARANEH FOSTER. Fox Tower, Lake Twin, City Center.
Shriek: An Afterword
[SHORT RUN] Fans of fantasy lit shouldn't miss this screening of a short film based on super-rad Florida writer Jeff VanderMeer's just-released novel Shriek: An Afterword, set as usual in Ambergris, an invented city so bizarre it begs to be filmed. With a soundtrack by the Church, the movie caps an evening of all things Ambergris, including readings, giveaways and special VanderMeer beer. Emceed by local author Jay Lake and poet Edward Morris Jr. BECKY OHLSEN. Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton St., 238-5588. 7 and 9 pm Saturday, Aug. 19. $6.
Step Up
Typical urban film about a rebel from the wrong side of the tracks, only this film replaces all the black people with white actors. If black actors can't count on hackneyed garbage like this to star in, what can they count on? PG-13. Pioneer Place, Lloyd Cinema, Eastport, Division St., Oak Grove, Cedar Hills, Cornelius, Evergreen, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Tigard Cinemas, Wilsonville, Cinema 99, City Center, Vancouver Plaza.
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Will Ferrell plays racecar driver Ricky Bobby, whose IQ is a whole lot lower than his top speed—until he crashes, tastes the Fear and falls from grace. But that's all just a frame for ad-libbing. Ferrell does developmentally disabled junior-high class clown in a grown man's hairy body better than anyone. He and co-stars John C. Reilly and Sacha Baron Cohen deploy improv riffs that explode critical judgment—you might be rolling your eyes at the "story," but try as you might, you cannot help giggling at stuff like the visions-of-Jesus routine at the dinner table or the Cohen-Ferrell makeout scene. Gary Cole is awesome as Ricky's degenerate father, and Ricky's two foul-mouthed little demon spawn are pretty funny, too. Watch for the outtakes at the end, and just tell me the guy doesn't do something for you. PG-13. BECKY OHLSEN. Pioneer Place, St. Johns Twin, Lloyd Cinema, Roseway, Eastport, Division St., Oak Grove, Cedar Hills, Cornelius, Evergreen, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Tigard Cinemas, Wilsonville, Cinema 99, Cinetopia, City Center, Vancouver Plaza.
Top Down Summer Movies
[SHORT RUN] The Northwest Film Center continues its annual outdoor summer film series atop the parking garage of the Hotel deLuxe. It doesn't get much better that director Jack Hill's 1973 blaxploitation classic Coffy, starring Pam Grier as a nurse-turned-vigilante on a kill-crazy rampage. Early in the film, Grier levels a sawed-off shotgun at the head of a drug dealer and declares, "This is the end of your rotten life, you motherfuckin' dope pusher!" And it only gets better from there, as Coffy stops at nothing to destroy the evil dope empire that ruined the life of her younger sister. Despite the gratuitous violence and sex, Coffy, along with other films of that era starring Grier, helped usher in a new era of feminine empowerment on screen. Sure, it was tainted by the hyper-sexualized male fantasy of buxotic babes blasting shotguns, but if it wasn't for films like Coffy, there may have never been films like Thelma and Louise. DAVID WALKER. Hotel deLuxe Parking Garage, Southwest 15th Avenue and Yamhill Street. 9 pm Thursday, Aug. 17. $5.
Who Killed the Electric Car?
Who Killed the Electric Car? unfolds like a murder mystery, starting with a funeral for, of all things, an emission-free vehicle. As Chris Paine's documentary gets under way, he quickly recounts the history of the electric car, which has been around in one form or another for 100 years. But the murder victim in the film is not some prototype vehicle tested in the 1970s. The victim in question is the EV1 from General Motors, an electric car that was incredibly popular in California during the mid-1990s. But within a few short years, GM and the makers of other electric cars began pulling them off the road and having them destroyed, claiming that they weren't viable and there was no real demand. To say the emission-free vehicles were murdered may be an exaggeration, but only a slight one. With each new bit of evidence presented, the documentary becomes more frustrating. The picture that starts to come into view is a complex web of deception and greed involving oil companies, car manufacturers and the government (like we needed another reason to hate the Bush administration). DAVID WALKER. Fox Tower.
World Trade Center
Inspired by the true story of Port Authority Police Department Sgt. John McLoughlin (Nicolas Cage) and Officer Will Jimeno (Michael Peña), two of the 20 survivors pulled from the devastating destruction of the twin towers, World Trade Center is more a tale of survival than any sort of political posturing you'd expect from filmmaker Oliver Stone. This is a good yet uneven film that works best during its first act, where Stone approaches the level of brilliance he achieved in Platoon. During the second act, however, the director falls back on the melodramatic subplot of the worrying families of McLoughlin and Jimeno, as well as unnecessary flashbacks. Stone's directorial hand is less assured here, and it's during the second act of World Trade Center that the film goes from being the solid work you might expect from Stone to something more like you'd expect from Ron Howard. And like Howard's Apollo 13, World Trade Center becomes hampered by the simple fact that we know how this tale will end. Despite the obvious moments that are less effective, Stone's film still manages to deliver an emotional cinematic experience. PG-13. DAVID WALKER. Pioneer Place, Lloyd Cinema, Eastport, Division St., Oak Grove, Cedar Hills, Cornelius, Evergreen, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Tigard Cinemas, Wilsonville, Cinema 99, Cinetopia, City Center, Vancouver Plaza.
Zoom
Tim Allen stars an aging superhero called in to train a group of super-powered teens. PG. Lloyd Mall, Eastport, Division St., Oak Grove, Cedar Hills, Cornelius, Evergreen, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Tigard Cinemas, Wilsonville, Cinema 99, Vancouver Plaza.
