RADAR LOVE: Theatre Vertigo's A Doll's House, at Theater! Theatre!

STAGE

Das Barbecü

[CLOSES SATURDAY] A hackneyed, nonsensical attempt to place Wagner's Der Ring des Nibelungen in rural Texas, executed with all the competence and finesse of bad amateur dinner theater by a cast who are constantly flat, both musically and emotionally. While the idea might make for a decent SNL sketch, two hours of hopelessly obscure material punctuated by tired slapstick and songs that have little relation to the plot is an endurance test that becomes increasingly painful as the five actors (playing dozens of barely distinguishable characters) try in vain to catch up with the prerecorded score. To make matters worse, after six years of the Bush administration, there isn't a Texas joke left in the world that doesn't sound overused. Unless you're a Wagner groupie with a cowboy fixation (and, really, who isn't?), skip this one. BEN WATERHOUSE. Third Eye Theatre at the Crimson Theater, 700 NE Dekum St., 970-8874. 8 pm Thursday-Saturday. Closes Sept. 1. $15-$18.

A Doll's House

[NEW REVIEW] An audience member described this updated staging as "people standing around, beating each other with the verbal equivalent of Wiffle bats." That about sums it up. Director Mary McDonald-Lewis had the best of intentions in moving Ibsen's humanist classic from 1870s Norway to 1950s America, but the idea backfires: Nora, the play's naive protagonist, comes off more stupid and self-centered than trapped and misused. What, with a maid and a nanny taking care of the household, does this woman do all day? Stiff performances make the almost-three-hour show tough to sit through, leaving plenty of time to eyeball the "midcentury modern" set, most of which happens to be for sale. Shop away! BEN WATERHOUSE. Theatre Vertigo at Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont St., 306-0870. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays. Closes Sept. 22. $15.

The Misanthrope

[CLOSES SUNDAY] Masque Alfresco's updated rendition of Molière's comedy about the dangers of inappropriate honesty. Beaverton Library lawn, 12375 SW 5th Ave., Beaverton. 254-5104. 6:30 pm Friday-Sunday. Closes Sept. 2. Free.

Spamalot

[CLOSES SUNDAY] Eric Idle and John Du Prez' willful exploitation of Monty Python and the Holy Grail is a hard show to recommend without a lot of severe reservations: Its plot is incoherent and pointless, its dialogue a mixture of annoying material from the movie and painfully contrived nonsense to tie the other stuff together. The production lacks the low-rent joy of the film, and doesn't in any way reproduce the experience of watching the real Pythons do their thing. That said, Spamalot is a show that needs to be addressed on its own terms: For an extravagant money-making device that came into being only because Eric Idle wanted another wing on his Hollywood mansion, it's not so bad. It's got spectacle in droves, a bunch of great dance numbers and a few decent songs. Between the horde of scantily clad girls, the amateurish accents and the frankly astonishing sets, the show feels like the most expensive pageant ever produced by Hugh Hefner at Las Vegas High School. If that's enough to make you happy, go see the show. If not, don't waste your money. This one will sell out regardless. BEN WATERHOUSE. Broadway Across America Portland at Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay St., 241-1802. 7:30 pm Tuesday-Friday, 2 and 7:30 pm Saturday, 1 and 6:30 pm Sunday. Closes Sept. 2. $33-$78.

The Taming of the Shrew

[CLOSES MONDAY] Elizabethan misogyny runs rampant in the parks. Portland Actors Ensemble at various locations; see portlandactors.com. 3 pm Saturdays-Sundays. Closes Sept. 3. Free.

Thom Pain (Based on Nothing)

[OPENS THURSDAY] Devon Allen directs Will Eno's rambling monologue about endless minor suffering. That sounds dull, sure, but this parody of self-indulgent solo theater was a finalist for the 2005 Pulitzer Prize for drama and a major hit at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Our Shoes Are Red/The Performance Lab at Lincoln Hall room 336, 1620 SW Park St., 333-6096. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Sundays. Opens Aug. 30.

Who Stole My Dead Husband?

[EXTENDED RUN] Lou Pallotta's Italo-sploitation family dinner theater, starring Jim Caputo, continues through December. Madison's East Wing, 1125 SE Madison St., 800-966-8865. 7:30 pm Fridays-Saturdays. Closes December 22. $60-$69, dinner included.

Comedy

Next Best Thing, improv

Doug Dean's quick-witted comedians shalt not falter in "Bibles Not Included: The Improv Commandments." Brody Studio, 3314 SW 1st Ave., 249-7110. 8 pm Saturday, Sept. 1 and 8. $10, $7 students.

classical

Natasha Novitskaya-Adams with Michael Barnes

Portland soprano Natasha Novitskaya-Adams warbles greatest-hits arias with pianist Michael Barnes in a free program at The Old Church. The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave., 222-2031. Noon Wednesday, Aug. 29. Free.

A Symphony of Compassion

Cascade Festival of Music, under Artistic Director Murry Sidlin, offers noteworthy concerts that are, sometimes, worth leaving Portland for. Here's one example: Tonight, Portland's Ron Blessinger (he of the Oregon Symphony violin section, and artistic director of Third Angle) is the soloist in the Tchaikovsky Violin Concerto, on a program with Shostakovich's Fifth Symphony and the little-known Eight Russian Folk Songs by Anatoly Liadov. Drake Park, 505 NW Franklin Ave., Bend, 541-383-2202. 7:30 pm Wednesday, Aug. 29. $15-$38.

Oregon Symphony Waterfront Concert

Fireworks and cannons! Hoedowns and Roman Carnivals! Opera, jazz and OBT! Oregon Symphony pulls out all the stops in this pre-season opener, their annual free Waterfront Concert. First up at 5 pm: Mei-Ann Chen (departing soon to assist Robert Spano at the Atlanta Symphony) stirs up her pint-sized forces in the Portland Youth Philharmonic for works by Copland, Max Bruch and Camille Saint-Saens, featuring co-winners of the PYP Concerto Competition (violinists Brandon Garbot and Natalie Yu). Kalmar and Co. storm the stage at 7, with a program more eclectic than anything else offered during their official season: Copland, Berlioz, Mendelssohn (with OBT dancers in a pas de deux), Shostakovich, Sam Barber, Wagner and (wait for it)... Hoagy Carmichael? And they didn't even bother with a too-cute program title! Waterfront Park, 1020 Naito Parkway, 228-1353. 5 pm Thursday, Aug. 30. Free.

Carnegie Hall Preview by Susan Chan

Susan Chan is a superlative Portland pianist deserving of a wider audience. Since moving to town in 2004 for a faculty appointment at PSU, Chan's become a valued member of Portland's musical community in solo and chamber performances with ensembles across the region. In advance of her second Carnegie Hall solo recital (Sept. 16, 2007), Chan previews her program—Bach, Chopin, Doming Lam, Chen Yi, others—at PSU's Lincoln Hall. Lincoln Performance Hall at PSU, 1620 SW Park Ave., 725-3307. 7:30 pm Thursday, Aug. 30. $12-$20.

Portland Festival Symphony

Lajos Balogh's Festival Symphony closes their summer season with a farewell concert in Lake Oswego, repeating repertoire they've honed in Portland parks throughout this past summer (Beethoven, Bizet, Brahms, Handel, Haydn, et al.). Foothills Park, 199 Foothills Drive, Lake Oswego, 245-7878. 6 pm Sunday, Sept. 2. Free.