The Gorge Vortex Strain Is True Working People's Weed

I was browsing the menu at La Mota—who's got some of the best-priced cannabis and infectiously bubbly budrista ladies around— for something cheap when I came across Gorge Vortex for seven dollars a gram. As if by compulsion, I dramatically said it aloud with a laugh.

Here I was laughing and I wasn't even high yet. This is what I was looking for.

This strain is a sativa-heavy hybrid, whose parent strains are LSD and Vortex. I rolled a large joint and we smoked it down. The taste was earthy, nutty and brownish. Not exactly the finest of flavors but hey, it's weed, it's legal and it's clean. There was also a lingering chesty after-taste, which I've come to know as indicative of strains that are slow-acting and will hit harder as time goes on (it did).

Related: Strain Picks: Sleepy Time

We loaded a bowl and headed down Foster to the Mercado carts to get a solid base for the work ahead. As we arrived I could feel my body go squiggly and seemingly move under it's own power. Rad! I can't remember the last time I giggled this much. The colors of the carts shone with a vibrancy that was out of this world (the LSD influence?). We ordered pupusas with the straightest faces we could muster.

After smoking for multiple hours, I was pleased that instead of feeling bogged down by the bud, I was actually feeling quite energetic and positive. It also happened that we were moving this weekend. As I carried box after box into our tiny home and Tetris-ed them to make it all fit, I started to feel as if I was in a video game, solving complex puzzles. The LSD strikes again.

By the end of the day, my body was comfortably warm and jello-ey. We made our way to Foster Burger for a nightcap. The Montuckys went down rough, although that's nothing new. I find that most sativa-dominant strains don't really pair well with cheap beer. Sometimes enhanced perceptions can backfire. But when my burger arrived my taste buds exploded, the bourbon onions sending me into another stratosphere of euphoria.

Related: Smoke this Strain and Get Euphoric

With a full stomach we ambled back to our fuller house, satisfied with a day effortless and well done. A great weed for concentration and sustained activities, it also provides a delightfully effective body high that keeps you energized. With a price that's right and high that's clean. This is true working-man's weed.

Willamette Week