Sit on #Authentic Santa's Lap This Christmas

Are you looking for a better way to express your #authentic #PNWlife self this winter?

Are you sick of those #basic Pumpkin Spice Latte drinking, "Jingle Bells" singing, Love, Actually-watching mall Santas? Are you looking for a better way to express your #authentic #PNWlife self this winter? Well, you're in luck.

Pioneer Place, which is yes, okay, a mall with yes, a GAP, is offering what they are calling "an authentic Santa experience" this year.

According to their press release, "Old Saint Nick's home at the downtown shopping mall will include a PDX carpet chair, bicycle and all things quintessentially Portland."

A bicycle? PDX CARPET?! Is it even possible to be more Portland than that?!

Turns out it is, because the press release goes on to mention: "Guests also will receive a temporary tattoo as a giveaway."

Thank God, or the infant son of God, that we can finally take selfies sitting on a semi-employed old man's lap in a mall without messing with our street cred.

It's a Christmas miracle!

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