Mild|Fun for (Almost) the Entire Family!

Thursday, June 14

Slant: Live Queer Storytelling

If you're familiar with the Risk! podcast, Slant is like that, except it's live and features only queer speakers. The stories often contain dashes of humor and heartbreak, but if things get too heavy, don't worry—the event takes place in Mississippi Studios, so there's a drink on standby. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., mississippistudios.com. 7 pm. $15. 21+.

Friday-Sunday, June 15-17

Taking Pride on Stark

Southwest Stark Street was once home to Portland's historic Pink Triangle, the closest thing the city had to a legit gayborhood. It still hosts one of Portland's oldest gay bars, Scandals, a dive where current patrons are more likely to be immersed in their phones than flirt. That all changes during the annual Stark Pride block party, though, when the 'hood returns to its former glory. Scandals, 1125 SW Stark St., scandalspdx.com. Starts 7 pm Friday. Free. 21+.

Saturday-Sunday, June 16-17

Portland Pride Parade

(Just Out/CC)
(Just Out/CC)

The official Portland Pride Parade is one of the main all-ages events taking place this weekend, making it a prime opportunity for educating young'uns and newbies alike about various facets of modern queer culture. Floats act as art installations—ships sailed by every facet of the gay community from queer witches to asexual people who met on Meetup. It takes place during the day, so everything is fairly PG. Parade starts at West Burnside & NW Park and ends at Tom McCall Waterfront Park, 98 SW Naito Parkway. Noon-8 pm Saturday and 11:30 am-6 pm Sunday. Free.

Sunday, June 17

Drag Me to Brunch

It's never too early for a drag show, no matter how hungover you are. Get the cheap brunch buffet at Stag, one of Portland's few gay bars that features strippers and, today, drag performers. It'll be difficult to keep your eyes on anything, though, if you accept Stag's offer of five mimosas for $5. Stag, 317 NW Broadway. 11 am-3 pm.

Medium|For Those Who Want to Party, but Still Need to Get Up for Work the Next Morning!

Saturday, June 16

Lumbertwink

Lumbertwink is a patio party celebrating the most Pacific Northwest brand of gay subculture—flannel-fetishizing gay dudes with hairy chests who may very well "chop wood" in their downtime. Chaps of all gender dispositions fall under the lumbertwink umbrella, so you won't be drinking exclusively with the man's man-loving "masc for masc" crowd. This is a royal opportunity for you to knock back a few with a delicately specific sliver of the queer populace. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., funhouselounge.com. 4-10 pm. 21+.

Gaylabration

Much like the queer community itself, Gaylabration just seems to keep growing. Last year, over 1,300 peeps showed up, making it one of the largest Pride after-parties in town. This year's installment features colorful acts, such as identical twin DJs the Perry Twins, as well as sets by acrobat troupe the Aerial Muse Collective. Most importantly, it's a charity event for Pride Northwest, which means it gets a little less sloppy than some of the hotter party options. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., crystalballroompdx.com. 9 pm. $25. 21+.

Sunday, June 17

Big Gay Boat Ride

Now an official Portland Pride event, the sixth annual Big Gay Boat Ride appeals to anybody who enjoys RuPaul's Drag Race and doesn't succumb to seasickness too easily. Basically, the Portland Spirit gets hijacked by an array of prominent local drag queens, including some Drag Race veterans such as Adam West and Joslyn Fox. Expect drinking, dancing and copious shade-throwing. Tom McCall Waterfront Park, 98 SW Naito Parkway, portlandspirit.com. Boarding begins at 2:30 pm, boat leaves at 3 pm sharp. $40-$60. 21+.

Zaddy: A Genderfluid Pride Day Party

Local Lounge is hosting a Pride celebration that caters to those identifying as genderfluid, with an emphasis on queer POC attendees. There's also a tie-in with Father's Day, though it appears murky. Local Lounge, 3536 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., locallounge.wordpress.com. 3 pm. $5. 21+.

Hot|It's Getting Really Gay in Here!

Friday-Saturday, June 15-16

Glow 2018

One thing you can always count on during Pride is a CC Slaughters throw-down. CC Slaughters is Portland's largest gay nightclub, with a permanent dance floor and martini lounge, and unlike some pop-up Pride events, it knows its craft. Glow, its black-light dance party, takes place both Friday and Saturday nights, featuring sloppy, clubby sets from DJ Rob and DJ Lil Finn, go-go boys and "party favors." And by party favors, we're thinking possible one-night stands? CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis St., ccslaughterspdx.com. 3 pm. 21+.

Saturday, June 16

Blow Pony's 11th Annual Queer Mutiny Fest

(Courtesy of Blow Pony Facebook)
(Courtesy of Blow Pony Facebook)

While CC Slaughters is Portland's premier gay nightclub, Blow Pony is Portland's signature gay club event. This year, its annual Queer Mutiny blowout features DJs Airick X and Just Dave, as well as a drag performance by Christeene and a stage number by Katey Red, a pioneer of the New Orleans brand of hip-hop called "bounce." This is where you'll meet the dudes who think too highly of themselves to participate in online dating. Unfortunately, it's also where you run into past Grindr hookups. Just make sure you don't have too many shots before you arrive. You don't want to go home with your ex. Bossanova Ballroom, 722 E Burnside St., blowpony.com. 9 pm. $15. 21+.

Sunday, June 17

Club Kai Kai Pride

Club Kai Kai events are integral to Portland's queer community, featuring a rave-style club scene with plenty of drag royalty, voguing and butterflies for the stomach. This year's after-party is another win for Drag Race fans, as Season 9 fan fave Aja is scheduled to appear. If you're trying to end Pride on a high note, pun intended, this is the place for you. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., holocene.org. 9 pm. $23-$40. 21+.

Super-Hot|So How Do You Feel About Orgies?

Friday-Sunday, June 15-17

Sex Clubs

For those looking for a trip down queer memory lane, Portland offers two traditional gay bathhouses, Steam and Hawks PDX. Normally, you wouldn't find much action here unless you're into guys, but Pride weekend should attract a larger, more diverse clientele. Steam is generally bougier, offering Portland's only nude sun deck and hot tub. Hawks is the dive bar bathhouse that feels much more like you're at somebody's house than an upscale gym. It also hosts a deal that can't be beat: If you measure 8 inches or greater, you get a free locker on Fridays. Steam, 2885 NE Sandy Blvd., steamportland.com. Open 24 hours. Prices vary. 21+. Hawks PDX, 234 SE Grand Ave., hawkspdx.com. 10 am-midnight Friday, noon-10 am Saturday. Prices vary. 21+.

Sunday, June 17

The Devil's Doorbell: Pride!

Portland's few gay sex clubs rarely cater to women, but that's about to change for one night only. The Devil's Doorbell is a woman-on-woman "play" party, held in Northwest Portland's "alternative lifestyle events space" Sanctuary. Make no mistake: You may absolutely hook up with women at this event—with consent—but you might also go just for the pro tips on what lube you should be using in your bedroom. Expect everybody from the "I'm a queer gal but only have my Tinder set to men" group to the "my wife and I are polyamorous and our whole family is coming" lesbian crowd. Sanctuary Club, 33 NW 9th Ave., pdxsanctuary.com. 7 pm. $10. 21+.