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BeavHive Beats Beyhive
Beaverton, stand up! Your boy, comic Ian Karmel, took home an Emmy this past weekend for his work on boss James Corden's Carpool Karaoke special with Paul McCartney, beating out such cultural flashpoints as Hannah Gadsby's Nanette and Beyoncé's Homecoming. "Can you bring an Emmy to Sassy's?" Karmel tweeted. "One man intends to find out."
Read more: Beaverton's Own Ian Karmel Beat out Beyoncé for an Emmy This Weekend.
Vespa Goes Viral
After a viewer went online to criticize her wardrobe, KGW news anchor Maggie Vespa used airtime to kindly tell the anonymous troll to fuck off—in so many words—and the segment subsequently got picked up by The Washington Post, The New York Times and other national news outlets. To which the commenter probably replied, "They can do that?"
It’s a Great Day to Be a Hop
The Hillsboro Hops, our beer-themed minor league baseball heroes, vanquished—or should we say vacuumed?—presumed archrivals the Tri-City Dust Devils to capture their third Northwest League title in five years. Eat shit, Southeast Washington!
Blazers 5-0
Like Boyhood, but for basketball, the Trail Blazers released a trailer for their upcoming 50th season, and it captures all the joy and pain of growing up in Rip City in just over two minutes. You'll cheer, you'll cry, you'll throw the nearest blunt object against the wall reliving the 2000 Western Conference finals.
For Sale: One Superyacht
Are you a lover of maritime adventure? Got $325 million burning a hole in your pocket? Sounds like you might be in the market for the Octopus, one of the three "superyachts" that belonged to late Blazers owner Paul Allen. The 414-foot vessel has gone up for sale, and this baby has it all: two helipads; a cinema, gym, basketball court and hyperbaric chamber; even a pool! If anyone is interested in a time-share scenario, we've got $5 on it.
Read more: For Sale: One Superyacht, Formerly Owned by Late Trail Blazers Owner Paul Allen
ILoveMakonnenDoesn’tLoveTouring
The rapper behind anti-club hit "Tuesday" canceled his whole September tour—including a headlining show in his adopted hometown of Portland—citing "unforeseen circumstances."
Mohanad on the Move
In good-for-him, bad-for-us news, Portland comic Mohanad Elshieky—one of WW's Funniest Five just last year—has announced he's leaving Portland for New York at the end of the month to write for Full Frontal with Samantha Bee. Geez, a guy kills on Conan once…
No Emmy for Megan
In bad-for-her, good-for-us news, comedy writer Megan Amram—who grew up in Raleigh Hills—had worse Emmy luck than fellow almost-Portlander Ian Karmel, as her web series, An Emmy for Megan, lost for the second year in a row. She'll now have to make a third season, which, as she made clear to WW last week, is her worst nightmare: "It really does take a lot of time and effort, and I have real jobs."