LAS PERRAS LOCAS

[July 11th, 2001] Heavens to J-Lo! Just when I thought nothing could top our queer-ific June triumphs (Pride & Peacock), in blew Julio Uno --and a sizzling show that kicked my burro to kingdom come!

On that fiery night I had a sin-sational excuse to go to Darcelle XV. I was one of the judges of the "Miss Gay Latina Oregon" pageant. Regular readers of this column might recall this poached palace of pretty, "young" she-things is the same hotspot where I recently judged the Mr. Nude Portland pageant. They may share a locale, but these momentous occasions were as different as noche and dia.

Maybe it was the culturally specific frocks each contestant created from scratch for the Traje Tipico, or the fact that nearly everyone chatted the night away in español, but Miss Gay Latina was just so... exotic.

Though MGL-Oregon is in its año cuarto, the newfound erotic exotica of this year's pageant was perhaps due the organizers' (including choreographer David Zambrano) reaching out to Latin lovies from beyond our brackish Portland borders. Translation: We had ourselves some gorgeous gams to gawk at from such faraway lands as Hillsboro and Astoria.

The whole evening--seven contestants competing in various categories, including talent, formal wear and bathing suits--was hosted by none other than the super-sweet Meesha Peru. The very first Miss Gay Latina (and a former Miss La Femme Magnifique), Peruvian-born Meesha (who's actually 39-year-old Carlos Quezada) was helped along with her duties by the dulcet-toned Enrique Andrade (he's the voice of Jeff Gianola for KOIN-TV's Spanish news broadcasts).

Their professionalism set the tone for this muy caliente spectacular. Unlike Mr. Nude Portland--which seemed to come together at the very last minute and veered through the night like a runaway daisy chain--the Miss Gay Latina Oregon pageant had been in the works for months.

"It's important that everyone worked well together," said Meesha after the show. "We wanted the contestants to get to know each other and not have bitchy catfights. We wanted it to be like a family."

And that's made this unique event even more special. In a time when queers throw around the word "family" as if it were a new marketing term, these tra-la-la-ing travestis proved what familia really means: support. It was everywhere. From Meesha's beaming grandma to many of the contestant's madres, padres and hermanos filling almost all the seats at Darcelle's.

At evening's end it was Rebekah of Hillsboro who finally donned the sash and crown of Miss Gay Latina Oregon 2001. She thrilled the audience and judges with her Ann-Margrock-meets-Shakira Bon-Bon shakes and a dazzling smile. And no one looked happier than her fellow contestants, who showered her with hugs and kisses.

Now, that's amor!