Queer & Clairvoyant

[October 30th, 2002] Leafing through the pages of WW recently, I came across a photo that made my heart stop. No, it wasn't an ad for a she-male escort. It was a shot of Keith Ciminello.

I was sure I'd met this guy before. He looked queer. Maybe it was at Starbucks. Or maybe it was just during a past life. It'd make perfect karmic sense, because Keith's advertised himself lately in our paper as a past-life reader.

Curious to find out who I used to be, and how I might know him in this (or any other) life, I called Keith up for a reading.

But first, I wanted to know about him. Growing up in New Jersey, Keith resisted his so-called "gift." Having moved to P-town in '94, for the past several years this 38-year-old Italian gay stallion has been a waiter at fancy restaurants (is that how I know him?). Through a series of events--including the death of his mother and his own near-death experience--Keith put into practice what he calls "The Work."

He doesn't see dead people. He does, however, "channel" past lives. He believes knowledge of former lives can help out during this lifetime, and he considers himself a catalyst for spiritual growth.

Keith asked me to sit down in an oversized chair in his downtown office. From a nearby studio, I could hear an accordion playing. Throwing his head back and closing his eyes, Keith went somewhere else.

"You're a street cleaner. In London," shouted Keith. "You pushed a broom. That's what you did."

So much for being Alexander the Great.

As for my other lives, Keith said I had been a "dancer" in Paris (I was paid to take advantage of women; I died of syphilis; I was happy) and a fellow-soldier with him in an ancient Roman army, where I was the clown (so that's where I know him from!). He also said I was a spoiled-brat Indian brave. But that's not all.

Perhaps the scariest thing Keith told me was that in every lifetime I've always acted like a little boy. "This lifetime is about becoming a man," Keith said.

Right then my heart began to race, and that's when Keith stopped the session. Now, I don't know if I believe Keith. But he did open my eyes--and my mind.

I always thought that if I took a peek into my past life I'd find some damaged James Dean character. I was wrong. Instead I pushed a broom. I never grew up. And I had a huge grin on my face.

Oh well, at least I died happy.