civic awards

[December 11th, 2002] Last month, Portland Police Chief Mark Kroeker uncorked an international brouhaha when he handed out medals for police officers who discharged their weapons in the line of duty--including those who killed Jose Mejia Poot, an epileptic migrant worker who had been misdiagnosed and locked in a psychiatric hospital.

Many Portlanders hit the roof. But we here at the Rogue Desk were inspired by the chief's action. Rather than protest, we thought of some other medals we'd like to see. But don't let us have all the fun. Send us your own suggested honors (extra points for actually awarding them). We'll print a sample in an upcoming issue and send the author of the best entry out to dinner. (See details at the end of the column.)

The New Carissa Cross for Public Art --Given to the individual who best champions the spirit of those who deposited a 36,500-ton, oil-oozing hulk of steel on Oregon's shoreline, challenging our preconceptions about "nature" and "liability."

The Jeff Grayson Medal for Fiscal Wizardry --Awarded in honor of Portland's premier money manager, who made $300 million in union pensions disappear in a puff of smoke.

The Sarah K. Roberts Heart (Attack) --Bestowed upon teens who display the enterprise and creativity of the Lake Oswego 16-year-old who faked her own abduction to go mall-hopping in Seattle.

The Thomason Emblem of Evasion--A tribute to those who seek to reduce pressure on our overburdened criminal-justice system, named for the Portland car king who fled the scene of a late-night downtown fender-bender.

The Stoudamire Commuting Cup--Passed out in honor of the hometown Blazer star, who recognized that there are times to let someone else behind the wheel of your Humvee. (This award replaces the Stoudamire Crawlspace Cup, previously given for creative use of storage areas.)

The Kroeker Medal for Lapsed Memory--Given in recognition of our beloved chief's endearing habit of apologizing to the Latino community for the shooting of Jose Mejia and then giving medals to the officers who killed him.AWARDS CONTEST

There are three ways to get your suggested awards, medals and honors to the Rogue of the Week desk:

1. Send an email: newsdesk@wweek.com.
2. Fax us: (503) 243-1115.
3. Go postal: 822 SW 10th Ave., 97205.

Please label your entries as "ROTW Awards Contest."