Pass the Advil

[July 7th, 2004] Ow, my aching head. I haven't felt this bad since the morning after that night Jeff and I downed a half-case of Mickey's big mouths and two bags of double-stuffed Oreos over a pack of Dutch Masters. My ears are still ringing. I thought that girl was supposed to be some kind of nursing student. Didn't she ever hear of "first, do no harm"?

This whole boxing deal may be getting too rough. I've been taking it in the face more than Briana Banks.

My nose is starting to look like the "before" pictures of Paula Jones. My eye resembles the eggplant at Olive Garden. And as usual, after all that, the judges cheated me out of what was rightfully mine. Damn Canadians. They've played too much hockey with no helmet on. One of these days I may have to go back up there and hubcap a couple of them.

Oh, well. I'm not the only one taking the hits. I watch the news sometimes and see what the politicians around here are going through. I can sympathize. I know just what it's like when somebody close to you does something horrible. People automatically think you knew about it, even when you're completely innocent.

But I'm walking proof that you can make an Oregon comeback, no matter what's in your past. When all else fails, use the "bad" image to your advantage. When they boot you out of the MAC club, you can still fight your way back into shape in the WWE.

--Posted by Tonya at 12:44 am.