Special presidential-gossip issue!

[August 18th, 2004] * Last Friday's Prezapolooza presented some tough choices for local news directors. The Democratic candidate drew the biggest crowd of the campaign at Waterfront Park just hours after the president spoke at an invite-only gig in the 'burbs. How to play it? Generally, right down the middle. KOIN, for instance, gave each candidate five minutes in its 5 pm newscast, followed by two minutes on John Kerry and his bicycle, followed by a minute of Bush speaking. But at 11 pm both were bumped from the lead spot by the latest on Hurricane Charley's punishment of the state of Florida--for what, we can only guess.

* Unfortunately, the locals missed the real news: Kerry's hair. According to the New York Daily News, the would-be prez flew out pricey Washington, D.C., stylist Isabelle Goetz, of Cristophe, for a quick trim before his failed weekend windsurfing trip in the Columbia Gorge. Political junkies might recall that Cristophe is the stylist who caused such a commotion when he boarded Air Force One at Los Angeles International Airport to give President Bill Clinton a trim in 1993. Isabelle's going rate? $75 a pop.

* On Friday, after introducing her husband at Waterfront Park, Teresa Heinz Kerry took in a $9.95 Cobb salad sans bleu cheese and an iced decaf mocha at Mother's Bistro downtown. Her son, Andre Heinz, finished his special pork sandwich and offered up a credit card--but owner Lisa Schroeder wouldn't take it. "I'll do anything to get [Kerry] into office," says Schroeder. The restaurateur threw in free desserts for the Secret Service guys and gave Heinz a piece of chocolate cake for her hubby. "The last time he was in town I heard he ordered a piece to go," she says, "so I just sent one along this time." The tip on Heinz's table of three? $15.

* Murmurs has learned First Lady Laura Bush ate pricier food: a $15,000-per-couple fundraiser dinner Friday at the Dunthorpe home of real-estate agent-to-the-stars Mimi McCaslin. McCaslin--whose 10-year-old son introduced the First Lady--says about 100 people attended the event, including Sen. Gordon Smith, former Sen. Mark Hatfield, restaurateur Bill McCormick, former gubernatorial candidate Kevin Mannix, and their respective wives. Guests dined on a cold buffet of lobster, halibut, crab and tenderloin, courtesy of the Governor Hotel. Says McCaslin of the first wife: "She was just like one of us."

* Inspired by campaign themes of health care and job creation, Portland panhandlers have been breaking out their best cardboard signs. One young woman sat recently on Southwest Morrison Street near 5th Avenue with this plea: "Need Tampons and Midol." The sign of another young woman and her dog on Southwest 5th Avenue near Yamhill Street: "Will be President for Food."

* If Kerry is counting on an energized base as a result of the gay-marriage flap, he may be disappointed. Oregon gay marriage supporters at the No on 36 campaign determined recently that of the 5,000-plus Oregon residents who got same-sex marriage licenses in Multnomah County, 40 percent of them aren't even registered to vote in support of their own marriages.

* More trouble on the horizon for Ralph Nader's bid to get on the Oregon ballot. Pro-Kerry union analysts said they found hundreds of fraudulent signatures on the corporate raider's petitions. Ironically, one of the forged signatures belonged to a Republican who runs a business in Gresham reproducing parts for the Chevy Corvair--the same car Nader savaged in his famous tome Unsafe at Any Speed. "It is ridiculous to think I would sign a petition to help Ralph Nader do anything, let alone run for president," fumed Corvair connoisseur Robert Anderson. Nader needs 15,306 valid signatures by Aug. 24.