The thong arm of the law.

[March 30th, 2005] * Clatsop County District Attorney Josh Marquis , the most quoted prosecutor in Oregon, may also be the most despised by defense lawyers-and now there's merchandise to prove it. In November, a lawyer called a cop an "asshole" when his client was wrongfully arrested based on an expired warrant. Marquis responded by charging the lawyer with disorderly conduct. In tribute to freedom of speech , some wag dreamt up a line of merchandise including tote bags ($12.99), T-shirts (starting at $8.99) and a thong ($7.99)-all bearing the prosecutor's likeness and the words "Fuck Josh Marquis." Marquis, looking at www.cafepress.com/fuckmarquis after being notified of the site by Murmurs, said, "Oh, my god-a thong, too. "

* Just six months after being named police chief in Glendale, Ariz., former Portland Assistant Chief Drew Kirkland , famous for refusing U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft's request to let Portland cops interview Middle Eastern men suspected of no crime (see "Ripped City," WW, Dec. 5, 2001), has been placed on leave. He's being investigated for, among other things, allegedly discriminating against two female lieutenants. In Portland he survived two probes, one for alleged rape, the other for on-duty trysts with a girlfriend ("Chief Concerns," WW, May 22, 2002).

* Portland's own "angry incher," Wade McCollum , has just won a Los Angeles Drama Critics Circle Award for Best Lead Performance in Hedwig and the Angry Inch, a role he first performed here three years ago. McCollum will next be taking his wigbox to London to do Hedwig there.

* Portland Public School Board members lately have felt dazed at the pace and number of changes-so how do parents feel? Among other things, the district is adding full-day kindergarten at many schools. It's also adding some magnet schools, while stipulating that magnet busing will end next year. In light of the shakeup, the district recently said parents who have already filed a school-choice application for their kid(s) can still change their minds and file a new one by the April 8 deadline .

* Can Portland's culturati absorb another arts walk? A sprawling chunk of Southeast will find out on May 6, when the freshly formed Southeast Arts District (which goes by SEAD, not SAD) debuts its First Friday gallery crawl. The latest cousin to the Pearl's First Thursday and Alberta's Last Thursday, FF looks to drum up attention for avant-garde-friendly spaces springing all over the close-in east side. "Galleries on the east side tend to be more focused on cutting-edge, contemporary art and emerging artists," says co-instigator Gavin Shettler. Venues include Shettler's own Portland Arts Center on Southeast Belmont Street, the New American Art Union and Savage Art Resources.

* Portlanders, start organizing your gripes about the city. Odds are much greater this year that you'll be getting an annual survey from the city auditor's office asking you to weigh in on everything from how safe you feel on those after-dark strolls downtown to whether your local park is clean enough to let the kids romp free without running into needles and condoms. City Hall wants to slice-and-dice survey results by each of the city's 90-plus neighborhoods, meaning the mail poll needs to go out to a bunch more folks than usual.