LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

[December 6th, 2006] NOT THE SHARPEST KNIVES IN THE DRAWER

Hawthorne Cutlery would like to explain its ad in last week's issue of WW [page 49] to the thousands (3) who called and complained because they somehow misunderstood its message. The ad had been planned to coincide with the release of OJ Simpson's book and subsequent planned interview on FUX Broadcasting.

We were expressing our opinion (shared by Mark F. and "dead Johnny") that OJ is guilty and our disgust that he would try to publish a book for "blood money" (his words).

How some of you felt the ad supported violence against women is waaaaay beyond this writer, and certainly not the intention of the ad. The owner of "Hawcut" is a former police officer from Shit City, Fla., who had the opportunity and pleasure of beating the crap out of quite a few wife beaters in his day, boy howdy.

Some of you even suggested that we drop our advertising agency, Bourbon Tinkler & Clamf, for their poor taste. (We think they taste like chicken.) To that we say, t.s.eliot, we think they are doing a great job pushing the envelope, and thinking outside of your box.

We hope our advertising is FUN and funny, topical, and meant to be tongue-in-cheek. If you've been following our ad campaign, you'd realize everything we do is meant to be silly, different, irreverent, illogical and ill-mannered. Just like the signs in our windows.

We do apologize to those of you who missed the message completely, and we feel sorry for any tragedy some of you may have endured.

Guess we'd better explain the current issue's two ads to those same folk.

* Ad No. 1 [Gift Guide 2, page 29]: We do not support terrorism, nor were there any real terrorists in the photo or in our store. Ever.

* Ad No. 2 [Gift Guide 2, page 4]: The "Ninja" is not real, just a fine actor posing as one. And even though we have had a few Ninjitsuka in our store, we will not really send one after your ass, or any other farm animal.

Cmon, lighten up, it's almost Chrimmas, Kwanzaa, Chanukkah and Festivus. Thanks for your understanding.

Peace off,

Dave Rappoport
Hawthorne Cutlery
Southeast Hawthorne Boulevard

CLARIFICATION: Last week's cover story, "Two Crimes, Two Punishments," reported that Lisa Doell was struck intentionally by a 16-year-old driver in the crash that killed her. Although the driver confessed to police he struck Doell intentionally and 10 of the 12 jurors voted to convict him of murder, the jury ultimately found him guilty of second-degree manslaughter, which is a crime of negligence or recklessness.