Joey "Jaws" Chestnut and some park-goers overdo it on the pork.

[July 18th, 2007]

WINNERS

The master masticator strikes again! On July 14, Joey "Jaws" Chestnut devoured 7.65 pounds of pig flesh at the Chinook Winds Casino World Rib Eating Championship, successfully defending his title (see "Scarf Face," WW, Aug. 16, 2006). Just 10 days before, the 23-year-old glutton ate a record 66 hot dogs—bun and all—in 12 minutes at the Nathan's Famous Hot-Dog Eating Contest in Coney Island. Next up for Joey: constipation.

You can't fight City Hall, but now you can leave it a terrible message in the middle of the night. The bursting bladders of downtown drinkers won last week when City Hall announced it will extend its restroom hours to include 11 pm to 7 am. Starting Aug. 2, the homeless and the boozy can escape dark alleys and unzip late-night, just like the commissioners.

Same-sex couples in Multnomah County declared victory this week when a Multnomah County judge ruled Oregon's new domestic-partnership law gives them the same parental rights as married couples. But don't say "mission accomplished" yet; opponents are working on a ballot measure asking voters to overturn the law and thus the ruling. Nothing says family values like keeping parents apart.

LOSERS

Envy, thy name is the University of Oregon. In an apparent jealous rage over rival Oregon State University's back-to-back College World Series titles, UO is restoring its long-dead baseball program by eliminating the more-storied Oregon wrestling team. Get your pre-owned, sweat-stained wrestling singlet quick—they're going fast.

What does a natural disaster in slow motion look like? ODOT's Eddyville Bypass project. The plan was to straighten out Route 20 between Newport and Corvallis. To that end, ODOT's contractor, Granite Construction Inc., logged the steep hillsides along the route, sending a mountain of mud to the road. But it's worth it to end all that damn turning.

Wayward stories from Holman State Wayside have forced the closure of the public park west of Salem for up to one year. Officials say the park had attracted too many folks cruising for sex. In a May sting operation, officers netted eight men—including a minister—for public indecency and lewd behavior. Aren't there enough altar boys for men of the cloth?