The Naughty and Nice of This Year’s Christmas Crop

[December 5th, 2007]

[MISTLETOE OVERDOSE] This is not a happy time of year for me. For weeks now, I’ve felt them coming: the holiday shows. Every year Portland theaters looking to make some easy cash reap a joyful harvest of yuletide entertainment, and I consume all of it. Most of these seasonal shows are not intrinsically good art, so all that we can ask is that they not be so terrible that we flee at intermission, and that they be packed with holiday spirit. With that in mind, I’ve ranked these shows by cheeriness (hence the light brigade below), regardless of their other merits.

Plaid Tidings (through Dec. 9)

Hope you like cheese. Although Wade Willis, Bobby Jackson, Brian Bartley and Todd Tschida approach vocal perfection as an upbeat, undead doo-wop quartet in Broadway Rose’s production of this nursing-home favorite, Tidings is still one of the most annoying shows ever written. From the “Christmas Calypso” number to the three-minute “Ed Sullivan Christmas Special,” it is too long, too corny and too stale. The execution can’t be faulted, but if you don’t remember the Korean War, you’d better stay at home.

(If you cut these guys, they would bleed eggnog)

[PICK]A Christmas Carol (through Dec. 23)

After a five-year run of one-man holiday shows, Portland Center Stage is returning to Dickens with a brand-new, flashy adaptation by Mead Hunter. This special-effects extravaganza has a great cast, an astounding set and an excellent, original score of familiar Victorian carols. I’ve just one quibble: The Ghosts of Christmas Past, clad all in white with glowing red eyes, look more like a band of horrible albino Jawas than time-traveling spirits. Sure, they’ll walk Scrooge through the mistakes of his youth, but only if they can stop on the way back to devour a baby or two. PCS has put together the most impressive of this year’s holiday shows, and the most soul-shakingly terrifying.

(One-point penalty for the next six weeks of nightmares)

[PICK]1942 Christmas from Home (through Dec. 16)

Why does this revue of sorts—presented as a live studio broadcast of a fictional Portland radio show—feel more fresh and relevant than the slightly more contemporary material of Plaid Tidings ? Perspective, for one. Drawn from real stories and letters mixed with some great music and period advertisements, the second play in Pat Kruis Tellinghusen’s pentalogy presents a complex portrait of life during wartime that doesn’t shy away from the more sinister aspects of America’s domestic policy. The acting in Tapestry Theatre’s production is uneven, but the swinging band and nifty sound effects alone are worth the price of admission.

(World War II: not so cheery)

Also playing:

[PICK]Mars on Life (through Dec. 23)

Artists Rep’s popular holiday cabaret is back, and it’s bigger (and weirder) than ever. See full review in performance listings.

(Susannah Mars is Peacock Lane personified)