Is Kansas Ready?

[March 19th, 2008]

The Portland State University men’s basketball team blazed through the Big Sky Tournament last week, qualifying for the first NCAA Tournament appearance in school history.

The Vikings’ reward for winning the Big Sky on March 12? They got a No. 16 seed—the lowest possible—and will play the University of Kansas Jayhawks, top-seeded in the Midwest Regional, this Thursday, March 20, in Omaha, Neb.

Do they stand a chance? No. They’re 23-point underdogs and no No. 16 seed has ever beaten a top seed. Are they daunted? Of course not. “Anything’s possible,” says 5-foot-6-inch PSU guard Jeremiah Dominguez—who defines the words “plucky” and “short.” “It’s a game of basketball, 40 minutes. We’ve got nothing to lose.”

And indeed, if you compare PSU and KU in an outrageously selective manner, they match up very closely.

Gymnasium:

Kansas : Phog Allen Fieldhouse (seats 16,300)
PSU : Peter W. Stott Center (seats 1,500)

Gym named after:

Kansas : Legendary, record-setting coach
PSU : Alum who donated $1 million to build it

Mascots:

Kansas : Big Jay and Baby Jay
PSU : Victor E. Viking

Best hoopster in team history:

Kansas : Wilt Chamberlain (scored 100 points an NBA game, 20,000 women in a lifetime)
PSU : Freeman Williams (led college basketball in scoring—the on-the-court variety—in 1978)

Ex-coach it’s best not to mention:

Kansas: Former basketball coach Roy “Benedict” Williams (now coaching North Carolina)
PSU: Former cheerleading coach Neil Finger (now imprisoned for having sex with a 17-year-old girl)

Greatest basketball moment:

Kansas: Beating Oklahoma 83-79 for the 1988 National Championship
PSU: Last Wednesday, March 12

Popular fan chant:

Kansas: “Rock Chalk, Jayhawk, KU!”
PSU: “P! S! U!”

Famous campus watering hole:

Kansas: The Wheel
PSU: The Cheerful Tortoise

Nearest place to buy a bottle of Johnnie Walker after a loss:

Kansas: Jenson Liquors
PSU: 10th Avenue Liquor Store

Number of liquor law violations resulting in disciplinary action by the university, 2006:

Kansas: 1,051
PSU: 151

Movie featuring the school but mostly filmed elsewhere:

Kansas: About Schmidt
PSU: Feast of Love

Does the movie include a tailgate party so big it creates a traffic jam that results in a major character’s death?

Kansas: No
PSU: Yes