Best Place to People Watch

[July 23rd, 2008]

Laurelhurst Park

[The Arboretum] Between Southeast Ankeny and Stark streets and 33rd and 39th avenues.Whether you settle yourself on a bench by the pond or spread out a picnic near the dog run (inadvisable), you’ll see a wide array of Portlanders passing through Laurelhurst Park. On a recent afternoon, a band of cowboys and superheroes raucously celebrated a birthday as several toddlers tossed bread at overfed geese nearby.

Runner-up: Crema

Mississippi Avenue

[Baristaville] If ever there was a stretch of asphalt that embodied the marvels (and tensions) of this city’s metamorphosis, whether you call it “diversity” or “gentrification,” it’s the curious blocks of Mississippi Avenue. Find a comfortable perch, shut up for a sec and let your eyes soak in the medley of foot traffic as white people, black people, collared shirts, shopping carts, artists, yuppies, the scraggly and clean-shaven all stumble along the same avenue.

Runner-up: The Fresh Pot

Pioneer Courthouse Square

[Central City] Pioneer Square in the summertime is a 24-hour (or 16-, anyway) circus of gutter punks, salarymen, street preachers, mothers with big-eyed tots in tow, aimless youth riding the fareless circuit, burrito-munching tourists and that fellow with the unplugged electric guitar. The only group you won’t see are the dozens of Lewis & Clark College undergrads who line up by Nordstrom eight times a day to catch the shuttle to campus; the Pio Express only runs during the school year.

Runner-up: Starbucks

Jamison Square

[El Dorado] Between Northwest Johnson and Kearney streets and Northwest 10th and 11th avenues.Hot mama! With its wading waterfall fountain and swanky Pearl District locale, Jamison Square has become a haven for sexy soccer moms and PTA betties. Because the unique, beachlike landscape makes it a perfect spot for cooling off with the kids (or dogs, which many Pearlites treat like children anyway), it’s a MILF-hunter’s paradise. We spotted a whopping 36 potential MILFs in one hour, with a few DILFs thrown in for good measure—and that was on a cloudy Saturday.

Runner-up: Powell’s City of Books

Rontoms

[The Inseam] 600 E Burnside St., 236-4536. A Saturday evening at Rontoms’ rec room/lounge is a fine place to play Portland Bingo. Unrestrained beard? Got it! Moth-eaten cardigan? Yes! Middle-aged cyclist? You betcha! Sunglasses in the rain? So close! Vintage polyester dress? Bingo!! Hey, don’t judge me. How do you pass the time after you’ve had your third solo martini?

Runner-up: Doug Fir Lounge

Multnomah Village

[Neglected Southwest] Southwest Capitol Highway between Southwest 31st and 37th avenues.

Multnomah Village is laced with young couples and adorable families. Splash in the neighborhood hippies, hipsters and hip-replacement recipients and you’ve got some grade-A people watching.

Runner-up: Dublin Pub/Washington Square (tie).

Alberta Street Fair

[The New Frontier] 11 am-6 pm Saturday, Sept. 15. Who do you see, if not your downtown beautifuls? Patchouli peaceniks in army hats touting home-turned jewelry, fishers of men, black-clad anarcho-punklets, buskers, lady pairs, Latino tweens hawking ice pops, West Hills tourists, and West Hills tourists who somehow now live nearby. And people like you, lovely you.

Runner-up: Last Thursday.

82nd Avenue

[The Outer Limits] If you’re brave enough to risk scouting out some of Portland’s most dangerous traffic intersections on foot, you’ll find plenty to gawk at on 82nd Avenue. In a half-hour walk in the late afternoon you’ll pass hookers, can collectors, drunks, yuppies hauling new TVs, East Asian immigrants shopping for dinner, skateboarding students, cruising teenagers and a lot of miserable commuters.

Runner-up: Clackamas Town Center.

Interstate Fred Meyer

[The Peninsula] 7404 N Interstate Ave., 286-6751. This four-year-old split-level outlet of Portland’s favorite chain grocery and department store offers visitors a unique opportunity to lean over the railing from the second floor and spend hours watching the tiny customers below going about the business of everyday consumption amid rows of rainbow merchandise. It’s a fascinating and sobering perspective.

Runner-up: Cathedral Park.

Hawthorne Boulevard

[The People’s Republic] If you like window-shopping and have a pulse, chances are you have walked down Hawthorne Boulevard on a sunny day. And those people drinking beers at the Bagdad Theater or eating brunch at Cup and Saucer? Yeah, they’re checking you out. But don’t feel awkward, you’re just one in a long parade of people and they are your audience.

Runner-up: Bagdad Theater and Pub

Sellwood Park

[Sellwoodstockland] 1 SE Spokane St. Are you a homesick Manhattan transplant? Grab a Kettleman’s bagel and head to Sellwood Park. At this Southeast Portland gem—among a series of Portland parkways proposed by the Olmstead Brothers, the architects most famous for developing New York’s Central Park—you can sit back and watch the parade of exotic-looking hipsters, all the while wishing you were back on the Upper East Side. For a change of pace, book a birthday party at the public pool; rental rates are surprisingly reasonable.

Runner-up: Reed College/New Seasons (tie).

(TIE) Cosmic Monkey Comics

[Siberia] 5335 NE Sandy Blvd., 517-9050. Yeah, Cosmic Monkey has it all: goths reading Sandman, bike punks reading Channel Zero, kids reading Archie. And in April, Cosmic Monkey hosted a 24-hour comics-drawing marathon, which featured a host of comics celebs, including Jim Valentino (of Guardians of the Galaxy fame). And in the new comics mecca of Portland, if you know whom you’re looking for (hint: he wears glasses) you might even spot your favorite cartoonist during regular business hours.

(TIE) Normandale Park

[Siberia] Northeast 57th Avenue and Halsey Street.

As documented in the film Must Love Dogs, people use their pets to interact vicariously with other people. In a city with more dogs than children, a dog park is a better place than many to eye other people while keeping track of your pooch. For laughs, keep a running tally of pets that look like their owners.

Runner-up: Lloyd Center.