Who Needs A Designated Driver?

Ace Tavern
(8868 NE Sandy Blvd.): ’M drunk. Gemme taxi?

Pirate’s Cove
(7417 NE Sandy Blvd.): Boobs! Boooooobs! Boobs.

Yen Ha
Turn and face the strrmph—damn, these shrimp are good—ch-ch-changes!

Ambassador
(4744 NE Sandy Blvd.): Check out the neon! Do-on’t stop, believin’! Whoo!

Pal’s Shanty
(4630 NE Sandy Blvd.): Oysters + Bud Light = bad idea.

Club 21
(2035 NE Glisan St.): It’s like Snow White’s house, with video poker.

Sandy Hut
Let’s get Handy Slut, Handy Slut...steamed clams?

B-Side Tavern
Concrete, punk and $2 Tecate. Awesome.

Ash Street Saloon
Rock on! $1 PBR until 8 pm! And you can still smell the smoke.

Suki’s
(2401 SW 4th Ave.): More karaoke! This time under a Travelodge, with sugary drinks and power ballads.

The Crab Bowl

(7958 SW Barbur Blvd.): A dilapidated, dirty bar with cheap drinks, a noisy crowd and good karaoke.

START at Sunset Strip at 10205 SW Park Way.
Walk 0.3 mile north to Sunset Transit Center Board MAX Red Line to Airport
Get off at Oak/SW 1st Ave. Station

Walk 0.1 mile west to Silverado at 318 SW 3rd Ave.
Mosey 0.1 mile east to Oak/SW 1st Ave. MAX Station Board MAX Blue Line to Gresham
Get off at Old Town/Chinatown MAX Station

Stumble 499 feet south to Cabaret at 503 W Burnside St.

Sway 0.2 mile east to Magic Gardens.

Stagger 0.2 miles east to Mary’s Club.
Make your way with difficulty 0.1 miles south to Pine/SW 6th Station
Fall into MAX Yellow Line to Expo Center
Roll out at Kenton/N Denver Ave. MAX Station

Crawl west to Dancin’ Bare .