X +Men = GAY?

[May 14th, 2003] An ex of mine once told me that gay people were just like straight people--only more highly evolved.

I was reminded of that after watching one of this summer's biggest blockbusters, X2: X-Men United.

Or as I now call it, the gayest action film of all time.

The underlying theme, Marvel comic creator/magician Stan Lee told Abercrombie & Fitch magazine/catalog, "is how terrible it is to hate people because theyÕre different in any way," and that was expertly pounded out in its own homo way in the first X-Men flick. But for the sequel, openly queer director Bryan Singer dives headfirst into dangerous queer territory. This time around his message is that mutants--his cinematic stand-ins for homosexuals--are better, smarter and a lot hotter looking than the rest of you. And because of that fact, the so-called straight-thinking world would have no problem getting rid of the mutant/fag "problem," if given the power.

Whew! This is supposed to be a summery escape? Well, it's not. And here's why. Subversive in its mission to entertain, this movie is actually a cautionary tale of what happens to a group of outsiders who are endowed with something they never asked for--in this case, superhuman powers. They can't help it if they're just that "way." The people around them (specifically their parents) aren't much help, either. They don't know what to do with their odd offspring and eventually ship them away to a special place where they can be with their "own kind." It's all very gay, circa 1978.

This becomes blatantly queer-clear when Iceman (Shawn Ashmore) must return to his family home with a group of other mutants. It's here he finally confesses to his family that he is "different." And it's here his mother asks quite innocently, "Have you ever considered not being a mutant?" I actually started to sob in my seat during this scene. And that's not the only spot in this movie that sawed at my heartstrings. When teleporting Nightcrawler (performed by the incredible Alan Cumming) asks the shape-shifting Mystique (Rebecca Romijn-Stamos) why she chooses to stay the blue-scaled, golden-eyed way she is, even though she has the power to transform herself into a million other incarnations, she replies with something like, "Why would I want to?" You got to give Romijn-Stamos (perhaps the worst actress of her generation) props for pulling off that line.

Another important aspect of this allegorical film that should not go unnoticed by viewers (queer or not) is that Singer doesn't try to assimilate his mutants into mainstream society. He knows they're different, and better yet, he accepts and cherishes their differences. It's telling that this movie's main meanie has a mutant in the family. It also speaks volumes that he has done everything he can to erase his son's singularity--including what looks like a frontal lobotomy.

It's profoundly disturbing to me that people aren't talking about this aspect of X2. Is it just so obvious that everything in this film is viewed with a queer filter, from Sir Ian McKellen's eye-arching turn as Queen Magneto to James Marsden's eye-popping Cyclops (I don't care if he's married--Marsden is the gayest hunk in Hollywood)? I guess it's just not campy enough to warrant the catty quips of Joel Schumacher's fetish-fantasized Batman films.

As this movie tagline proclaims, "The time has come for those who are different to stand united," a sentiment near and dear to all persecuted people--not just queers. But the film's real message comes when Patrick Stewart, in his fey turn as Prof. Charles Xavier, tells the President of the United States, "We are here to stay."