Queer Flicks For Straight Dicks (& Janes):

[October 15th, 2003] To help some of our readers through the second week of the seventh annual Portland Lesbian & Gay Film Festival (sponsored by Sensory Perceptions and continuing through Oct. 19), we've run a few selections through a "gay meter." Anyone can use the meter, but it's designed for clueless straight readers: It's our way of letting viewers know just how well a film offers access to a queer point of view, from 1 (just riding the queer wave) to 10 (a good representation for all audiences of what queer life is like). --Byron Beck

Party Monster (7 pm Friday)--See Queer Window, page 50. [A deduction on the gay meter for not showing more of Macaulay Culkin's bare ass.] (BB)

Suddenly (5 pm Sunday)--Moped dykes Mao and Lenin capture lingerie counter-girl Marcia at knifepoint for a winding adventure out of Buenos Aires in a hijacked taxicab. Along the way, Marcia becomes less captured and more captivated, less pathetic and more poignant. Everything you need to know about the emotional arc of lesbian seduction is embedded within: faux fashion and butch seduction techniques, dips into purifying "ocean" waters and dramatic dialogue about "orcas." All-too-familiar touches for ladies seeking ladies, but Suddenly is cunnilingus cool and a must-see for straight girls being prowled. (CT)

Prey for Rock & Roll (7 pm Sunday)

It's hard to discern why this film should be included in a gay and lesbian film festival. Gina Gershon plays Ricki, a stereotypically self-absorbed lead singer who whines about getting old without fulfilling her dreams of rock superstardom. Since Ricki's constant complaining is the main premise of the movie, and her sexual orientation is defined by a tepid "sex scene" with a woman who subsequently vanishes, this melodrama tries to manipulate the audience into giving a shit about a group of two-dimensional characters. (CC)

A.K.A. (9:15 pm Sunday)--Re-imagine Steven Spielberg's Catch Me If You Can as an experimental British indie film with added layers of class struggle, child abuse, drugs and homosexuality. Matthew Leitch plays Dean Page, a '70s-Britain version of Frank Abagnale Jr., who flees the home of his abusive father in working-class Romford and lies his way into aristocratic society. Writer-director Duncan Roy employs a three-way split-screen view throughout, an obvious contrivance that succeeds in disguising the film's low budget and grainy video format. The innovative viewpoint is extremely effective in creating mood. A film that's about much more than sexuality, A.K.A. has a lead character whose sexual orientation is far more complicated and enigmatic than the usual cinematic hero's. (MM)

ALSO SHOWING

Blue Gate Crossing (7 pm Wednesday)--A Chinese coming-of-age tale with an unlikely love triangle.

Bulgarian Lovers (9:15 pm Wednesday)--A Spanish film about a 40-year-old man who falls in love with a much younger straight man.

Gaydar: Boys' Shorts II (7 pm Thursday)--A collection of eight short films.

Merci Docteur Rey (9:15 pm Thursday)--A sexually confused French man finds himself caught up in a world of murder and mayhem.

My Life on Ice (9 pm Friday)--French film about a teenage figure skater documenting his life with a video camera.

El Paso Wrecking Corp. (11 pm Friday)--Classic 1977 film chronicling the sexual adventures of Hank and Gene; director Joe Gage will be in attendance.

Body Beautiful (2 pm Saturday)--A collection of seven shorts dealing with the queer body image.

Ruthie & Connie (4:30 pm Saturday)--Documentary profile of two married Jewish women who became friends, fell in love and became political activists championing for domestic-partner benefits.

Gypsy '83 (6:30 pm Saturday)--Goth road-trip movie from director Todd Stephens.

Close to Leo (9 pm Saturday)--A French family must deal with AIDS when the oldest son reveals that he has the disease.

L.A. Tool & Die (11 pm Saturday)--More madcap sexual exploits of Hank, the hero of cult director Joe Gage's "Road Trilogy."

The Gift (2:30 pm Sunday)--Louise Hogarth's documentary explores the "eroticization of deliberate HIV infection."