Gossip Should Have No Friends

[November 9th, 2005] STRIKE OUT Last Thursday, Concept Entertainment Group —the company that owns fratty meat market Barracuda as well as the Dixie Tavern and Bar 71, among others—announced an excursion into Portland's east side with the purchase of the beloved Grand Central Bowl , home to the charmingly grungy Pump Room bar, a former all-ages rock venue and practice space for the Rose City Rollers. The cornerstone of inner eastside grit is slated to become Grand Central Market , which will house a mix of retail businesses centered around a "new bowling concept." What—Doug Fir with lanes instead of a stage?

MOON DANCE Although he has played for such political powerhouses as Margaret Thatcher, Bill Clinton and Al Gore, Scoop hears that local piano man Michael Allen Harrison is now "playing" for a much more intimate audience of one: high-profile partygoer and former Oregon first lady Sharon Kitzhaber . No word whether he's played for her anything from his CD Emotional Connection, which, according to Harrison's website, received clearance from NASA to get airplay on the space shuttle Endeavor.

NO PLACE LIKE HOME Locals perusing last Sunday's New York Times could be forgiven if they thought they'd accidently picked up a copy of a hip POVA guide to Portland. The newspaper devoted two big stories to our fair city, a Travel section piece that shone a spotlight on local arts and nightlife and a NYT Style Magazine story called "A Tale of Two Portlands ," which lauded both Portland, Maine, and Portland, Ore., for restaurant scenes that promote good food without pretension. Stumptown's gorgeous double-page magazine spread included shout-outs for Bar Pastiche , Sahagún Chocolates and the entire "ripe empire ," among others.

WEB-ONLY SCOOPS!

DEPT. OF SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION Thanks to WW, Portlander Paul Guinan stands to earn a percentage of the sales of Chris Elliott's The Shroud of the Thwacker, the comedian's goofy new novel that pokes fun at numerous historical figures. Elliott didn't realize that one of his Thwacker characters—the Victorian-era robot Boilerplate—is actually a modern-day hoax invented and copyrighted by Guinan (see "Heartbreakers Meet Boilerplate," WW, Aug. 31, 2005). Guinan read about Boilerplate's unauthorized star turn in Margaret Seiler's Thwacker book review in WW three weeks ago. After Elliott realized his error and legal action was threatened, the two reached an agreement that promised Guinan both a financial boost and increased publicity—thanks to a Nov. 1 New York Times article about Elliott's and Miramax Books' snafu. By the time Elliott arrived at Powell's for a reading of Thwacker on Tuesday, Oct. 25, he was able to joke about his accidental plagiarism: When Guinan's wife, comics writer Anina Bennett, asked Elliott if he'd ever met Paul, he replied, "No, why—are you married to him?"

SMOOTH OPERATOR As of midnight last Friday, Portland radio station 105.9 The River, whose "no rules, just classic rock" mission statement kept the torch burning for the likes of Eric Clapton, Billy Joel and the Boss, is no more. Replacing the River is KIJZ, Portland's "only smooth jazz station." How smooth? Only multiple listenings will tell, but KIJZ, another link in the Clear Channel chain, promises to give Portlanders the dose of Kenny G and John Tesh that the city has had to suffer so long without.