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ISSUE #32.03 • SPECIAL SECTION • COVER STORY
Cover Story

WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?


Welcome to WW's.... FIRST ANNUAL SUPER-DELUXE INTERACTIVE READERS PROBE

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BY ZACH DUNDAS & TOBY VAN FLEET | tvanfleet at wweek dot com

[November 23rd, 2005] How do Portlanders really feel about weed, wine, dogs, politics, high heels and each other? (And, most importantly, where do they stand on the "Brazilian")? With our inaugural come-one-come-all Q/A session, we aim to find out.

Portland may be hard up for high-wage jobs, wild-spawned salmon and cash to keep the schools open. But one thing we have in teeming abundance: opinions. In a city where one political bumper sticker is never enough, everyone has something to say about just about everything.

Somehow, though, the sloganeering-as-dialogue leaves us seriously unsatisfied. Why doesn't anyone ask the important questions, about the stuff that really matters in a city constantly in flux, crawling with transplanted newcomers and locked in a permanent identity crisis?

Like, for example, tattoos, TriMet and the popularity of paganism?

In our quest to figure out the real deal in the City of Roses, WW composed a mega-survey, designed to expose the nethermost regions of Portland's collective consciousness. We added a few jabs of local trivia to find out just how much people actually know about this fine metropolis.

We expect the results to be ugly, but we're going ahead anyway.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it: take the survey by Dec. 14. We'll throw the email addresses of all participants into a cast-off Von Dutch trucker's cap, and we'll draw the names of 10 lucky prize winners. One will receive a dinner and a night in a hotel—and we're not talking tacos and a skeezy room on North Interstate, people. Five folks will receive $75 worth of waxing pleasure (backs and pubes not excluded—Rio de Janeiro, look out!) at Wax On Spa. The rest will receive WW-customized gifts with varying levels of raunch.














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A couple of notes:

One, this is not a marketing survey. (We pay professionals to do those.) Your responses will not be used to sell ads, unless we can figure out a really clever new moneymaking strategy that hasn't occurred to us yet.

Two, we'd like to acknowledge the good work of an obscure newspaper called The New York Times: We blatantly stole this idea, and some of the questions verbatim, from them. (We figure the Times' staffers will be too busy beating the crap out of each other over Judith Miller to notice the plagiarism. And if they do—well, maybe they're hiring!)

So dig deep. Unleash. We want to know what you think about this city and your fellow Portlanders. We'll publish the results sometime in January—and until then, you can bask in the knowledge that you're absolutely right about everything.

Take the survey: http://surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=554431518964

To take the survey click www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=554431518964

 

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RECENT COMMENTS ON “WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?”

14

First ... and last survey (hopefully)You do realize, WW, that the wording of the questions in your so-called "survey" -- and even your very choice of questions selected -- are about as unbiased...

Story Forum Archive, Dec 13th, 2005 12:00am
15

WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?There is too much of the Whiny Minority -whatever happened to The Majority Rules - ie ITs Christmas not Seasons Greetings- I like the Pledge of Allegiance and I love my Cou...

Story Forum Archive, Dec 13th, 2005 12:00am
16

WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?What happened to The Nose? I totally miss reading those columns!!! BRING THE NOSE BACK!!!!—Cassie

Story Forum Archive, Dec 14th, 2005 12:00am
17

WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?Dude, I wanted to participate in your survey. But you took it out before 12/14. What's going on? Who the fuck is in charge? Don't you have any regards for the late-comers? ...

Story Forum Archive, Dec 14th, 2005 12:00am
 
 
 





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December 1st 2008House Of Gain | Aleksey Kalenichenko’s real-estate schemes cost banks hundreds of thousands of dollars. It’s still a mystery how he pulled it off.
December 1st 2008Just Add Milk | Director Gus Van Sant delivers the story of the gay-rights movement’s patron saint in his most political film to date.
December 1st 2008Core Issue | Barack Obama says the way we pay teachers is rotten. Does Bill Sizemore (Bill Sizemore?!) have the answer?
December 1st 2008Ad Nauseam | Do TV ads about hot dogs, golf clubs and rape work? We bring in the experts.
December 1st 2008WW Voters’ Guide, November 2008 | Tough choices, no brainers: Our endorsements for the general election.
December 1st 2008Unlucky Strike | The Oregon lottery is going into detox—and our state budget is along for the smoke-free ride.
December 1st 2008Jail Junkies | Who knows more about stopping property crime: Kevin Mannix or an ex-addict who stole 1,000 cars?
December 1st 2008Shipracked | Judy Shiprack wants to be your next county commissioner. Here’s what she doesn’t want you to know about a real-estate deal gone bad.