Gossip Should Have No Friends

[January 25th, 2006] DESPERATE HILLS WIVES Local authors Dan Merchant and B. Scott Taylor 's just-published read, The Great American Stay-At-Home Wives Conspiracy, is a catty look into the covert lives of West Hills wives —but you'd never know it by the book's sly, reversible dust jacket . Printed on the back of the tome's actual jacket is a second, disguise book "cover" that touts a page-turner called My Wife Comes First: 101 Practical Tips to Improve Your Marriage and Be the Best Husband EVER. Smooth move, boys.

ZACH'S SHACKIN' UP The never-ending saga of "seven strangers picked to live in a house" known as The Real World kicks off its 17th edition next month in Key West, Fla. According to MTV.com, this season's cast includes "a nice guy you want to take home to mom" from Portland . The 22-year-old local is Zach Mann , "a senior at Louis [sic] and Clark College...he comes from old money and old traditions." What? Old money? Traditions? In Portland? If anyone's got the goods on this P-town playboy, contact scoop@wweek.com.

WE SMELL A TREND First Saint Cupcake opens and now this? Last Sunday, Scoop gorged itself on another sweet lookin' feast at Cupcake, plus size celebrators FatGirl Speaks' new monthly dance party at Holocene. Supersized, super-sexy go-go girls, including FatGirl founder Stacy Bias, made for double the booty shakin' while free homemade cupcakes and drinks rimmed with graham-cracker crumbs lent the queer-friendly fete for fat positivity some very good taste. Get your flab on every fourth Sunday at Holocene.