Olé, olé, olé, olé, olé, olé.

[June 7th, 2006] There's a reason (this month, at least) for the drunken howling from our offices. It's World Cup time, people! Starting Friday at 9 am, the planet's biggest sporting event will own many Portlanders' waking hours. Uncountable bars and cafes plan to beam games in live from Germany. Portland Parks, the Oregon Sports Authority and a bunch of sponsors will rustle up big-screen showings and soccer workshops at Dishman and St. Johns community centers and, for select games, Pioneer Square. (See oregonsports.org for a schedule.) If local fans need rooting interests beyond the U.S.A. and Mexico, why not pull for tiny Trinidad ? Former Portland Timber Brent Sancho is on the roster for the smallest country ever to qualify.

Independent gubernatorial hopeful Ben Westlund wants to seduce moderates by mixing fiscal restraint and social tolerance. With his prominent stands for gay rights , the state senator (and recovering Republican) from Bend seems to have the latter factor nailed. At least one of his potential supporters, however, is having a tough time speaking the language. In a May 19 letter hunting campaign dough for Westlund, Redmond dentist Mike Shirtcliff wrote: "Ben legislated for some kind of position for gay folks. They are here; we can't just shoot them all , so we have to have some kind of program for them...." Uh-huh. Shirtcliff followed up with a quick sorry to any offended by the letter, which appeared to be his own handiwork and not that of the Westlund campaign.

Portland cops are investigating an alleged gay-bashing on Southwest Stark Street last weekend. Police spokeswoman Cathe Kent says a group of white twentysomething men started yelling anti-gay slurs at a group of gay men as they walked along Stark, the city's most high-profile cluster of gay nightclubs, at around 2 am Saturday. Then two of the epithet-yellers crossed the street and started punching two of the men and a witness who tried to intervene. Police have not tracked down the suspects. The victims sustained minor injuries.

Should the City of Molalla pump its bilge into its namesake river? Last week, a coalition of farmers and conservationists sued to block the small city's plan to install a 24-inch sewage pipe that would disgorge processed wastewater into the Molalla River . Plaintiffs claim the pipe will pose an environmental hazard, and that the city has been ducking Clean Water Act fines since 1999. State eco-regulators say Molalla has done no wrong, and that the new pipe will actually improve the city's sewage situation. All just in time for rafting season; lucky us.

Every year 'round this time, Northwest foodies go nuts for Copper River salmon , which arrives stuffed with flavor after a rugged, character-building upbringing in deep, frigid Alaskan waters. So why doesn't New Seasons , the Portland foodie mecca par excellence, stock this northern delicacy? New Seasons' Allan Hummel , the local mini-chain's meat and seafood buyer, says the company spurns Copper River because it doesn't want to cut into its regular suppliers' business. "We do business with one group of fishermen 365 days a year," he says. (A sign at the fish counter in New Season's Seven Corners store also cited Copper River's high prices.) Never fear—Whole Foods is selling the stuff, for $20 a pound for sockeye and $37 a pound for king.

CORRECTION: Last week's Rogue of the Week incorrectly reported the status of disputed payments from Kawn Beyoud to DJ Spun Academy. Beyoud accepted one refund check from the academy for $1,725 and refused a partial refund of a second $1,725 check. WW regrets the error.

^WEB-ONLY MURMURS:

North Portland's Roosevelt High will cut its librarian next year, making it the only high school in the district (besides the alternative Metropolitan Learning Center) without one. "Those students deserve a certified librarian as much as the students in more affluent communities," says Portland Association of Teachers president Ann Nice. "Do you think they would try this at Lincoln?" Certified librarians are also qualified teachers, while the three staffers who will run Roosevelt's biblothèque next year will not be. Portland Public Schools officials say the school is feeling the pinch from declining enrollment and a loss of other funds. Aw, reading is so 20th century, anyway.

Multnomah County Circuit Judge Janice Wilson has developed a reputation for passionately waging war against the county's 21,000-plus backlog of criminal cases. But her dedication veered into Wild West territory last Thursday, when she announced from the bench that she planned to order the sheriff to send deputies out into the streets to round up enough jurors to move a delayed felony case into trial. Wilson wrote up the order and went to talk to the sheriff's courthouse staff, who convinced her that the decision, though totally legal under Oregon law, would seriously disrupt court security. Presiding Judge Dale Koch said he couldn't remember a time in his tenure when a judge had actually used his or her authority to send the sheriff hunting for jurors. The procedure is more common in small, rural counties. Nonetheless, Koch says he understands and supports Wilson's fervor. "We are pushing, pulling, cajoling, ordering...doing whatever we can to keep these cases moving," he said.