Outdoors

[June 21st, 2006]

^Stop Breathing!

Your exercise program is poisoning the planet. Here's the lazy way to a cleaner environment.

By Ben Waterhouse

What will you do to help stop global warming this summer? Sure, you could ditch your car, cover your house with solar panels, and stop eating meat. But what about the greenhouse gases your body produces? When you process sugars—say, from a Fudgsicle—into energy, your body breaks them down into water and carbon dioxide. And then you expel that nasty CO² into our already-suffering environment.

Did you know that carbohydrates burn less efficiently than gasoline? It's true. Burning a gallon of gas produces 33,000 calories of energy and 25 pounds of carbon dioxide. To get that many calories from rice you'd have to burn 20.6 pounds of mochi, producing 30 pounds of CO². Every calorie you burn does further damage to our dear mother Earth, and she resents it.

So here's the deal: if you really are dedicated to environmental protection, you'll join WW's Greenhouse Gas Prevention Program this summer by avoiding activities that burn superfluous calories. To help you out, we've compiled a list of Earth-hostile activities to avoid along with environmentally groovy alternatives. Calorie-burning rates assume a body weight of about 150 pounds and are taken from Melissa Heckscher's Use This Book! (Quirk, 208 pages, $16.95) and calorie-count.com.

1. Stop riding your bike. Even moderate biking around town burns 575 calories an hour, producing a half-pound of carbon dioxide. Riding the bus is a much cleaner alternative, since an hour of sitting on the bus while yakking away on your cell phone will burn a scant 68 calories.

2. Eliminate all vigorous exercise from your life , and squash and boxing in particular. Both sports burn an astonishing 850 calories an hour, which produces almost three-quarters of a pound of CO. Instead, stay home and write a novel. Typing burns just 102 calories per hour. Other sports to avoid include tennis, soccer, rock climbing, rope jumping, jogging, backpacking, mountain biking and canoeing.

3. Anaerobic exercises are better than aerobic workouts , because they force your body to expel carbon dioxide into sweat rather than into the air. If you must exercise, lifting weights is much easier on the environment than playing Frisbee, even though they burn the same number of calories.

So this summer, don't hit the trails or the surf. Instead, go lie on your lawn, drink beer, and read all day. It's the right thing to do.

^Summer of Terror

The outdoors is a dangerous place, and global warming is making it worse.

By Ben Waterhouse

The sun is finally out, and we Oregonians are emerging from our burrows, blinking in the harsh light, with one thought on all our minds: Get out! Get some air! We have only three months! (See story at left for why that's a bad idea.)

Well, before you strap on the hiking boots and hit the trails, consider that it may be the last thing you ever do. There are a lot of things out there that can kill you, and global climate change is making the wild even more deadly. Here are a few dangers to watch out for:

Heat

Exercising on a hot, humid day can cause your body temperature to rise to the point that you can't sweat the heat away and your internal organs cook. It's not pretty, and it can be fatal. Heat stroke will only become more common as global temperatures rise, so drink lots of water and wear a hat.

Disease

Warmer summers mean more mosquitoes, and a greater risk from the diseases they carry. Expect malaria and encephalitis to make headway in Oregon in the next few years. Better wear insect repellent.

Fungi

Global warming will increase humidity in the Northwest, allowing all sorts of molds and mushrooms to flourish. Don't eat the toadstools, and be sure to wash your feet.

Lightning

An average of 73 Americans are killed by lightning every year. And according to NASA, global warming will lead to more thunderstorms. So always hike with someone taller than you.

Bees

A bee sting can be fatal if you're allergic, and bees love warm weather. If that weren't bad enough, global warming will hasten Africanized killer bees' move north. Run!

Bears

We all know bears are dangerous. The good news is, they eat fish, and most freshwater fish will be wiped out as their habitats get too warm. Bears will be forced to leave our forests and move north to find food. What a relief.

^Lake O Row

A fish-out-of-water tale of catching crabs, Ergometrics 101 and good ol' technology.

By Bryan Van Norden

A lifeguard I will never be. So when Lake Oswego Community Rowing invited me to take a complimentary sweep class, I nearly backed out after discovering it meant passing a 20-minute swim test. The test required swimming 10 minutes using any stroke and 10 more treading water—all without stopping for the combined duration. Admittedly, a simple task for most, an undeniable challenge for a guy who makes anchors seem like flotation devices. Little did I know, after just the second day, treading water would turn out to be the easiest test of my abilities.

Day 1

Even at 5:15 am (pre-sunrise), the boathouse—named after dockmaster Charlie S. Brown (not a Peanuts gang member)—is an easy find on the twisting, paved path to its locked gate. I stand and chat with another newbie until a tall gentleman in a "Zags" hat (our coach, James Rawson) arrives. We follow him over the walking bridge onto the dock, where he sweeps away what looks to be a salmon with his foot. Peering over the side of the dock at the bellied-up fish, its gills slightly pulsing, he says, "Looks like it's too late." Luckily, this sink-or-swim method is not how he conducts his class.

Once all 16 new rowers show up, we watch a safety film shot in northern Washington that's intended to aid in preventing accidents, but it burns an image of a rower being thrown overboard by his own oar (i.e., "catching a crab") into my mind. After the video, Rawson assures us that, in his whole career of rowing (16 years, eight of which he's coached crew as Gonzaga University's head women's coach and as assistant coach to the varsity men's team), the overboard scenario has happened only three times in the bigger boats. Singles (used for sculling) are narrower and much more susceptible to tips.

Next up, we roll out 13 ergometers, ("ergs" for short), essentially rowing machines, Rawson shares with us a comical story about a fitness instructor at his wife's gym demonstrating how to use one—incorrectly—to a club member. The rest of the time we focus on erging correctly by shifting the pulling power from just our arms to the point that 75 percent of the work is being done by our legs.

Day 2

Finally, we get to join the ducks and paddle on the Willamette—that is, after we move the biggest of the club's 22 boats (a 300-pound, 60-foot eight-seater) out of the boathouse and onto the river. A daunting task, knowing the boat's $25,000-to-$30,000 price tag (plus $300 per oar), I didn't want to be the one who caused it to fall. Next comes a backsplash of foreign phrases ("up an inch," "watch the riggers," "toe to edge") as we slip the craft onto the river without incurring financial damages in doing so.

Once in the boat and away from the dock comes "setting" it (i.e., balancing the boat by keeping all oar handles at the same height). Once we begin to row is where I get lost. It doesn't help that our particular boat's PA system is toast and our coxswain (steering coach) has such a soft voice we have to play a game of telephone with terminology (starboards, port and the like), some of which we hadn't ever heard. Since we were literally all in the same boat and bemused, I didn't sweat the fact that it took me a little longer coordinating my rowing stroke with my slide. Nautically, I've always been last to catch up.

Here's a schedule of Lake Oswego Community Rowing's upcoming summer classes:

Introduction to Rowing (six-week course, $100) 6-8 pm Mondays and Wednesdays, July 10-Aug. 16. 5:30-7:30 am Tuesdays and Thursdays, July 11-Aug. 17.

Intro to Rowing (eight-week course, $70) 8:30-10:30 am Saturdays, July 8-Aug. 26.

To sign up, call 503-675-2549. For more info, visit www.lorowing.org.

^Escape from the Ordinary

How to get out of the city this summer (without really leaving).

By Jon Weatherford and Elianna Bar-El

Between the signature gatherers, the toxic steam rising from the Willamette, and this army of "illegals" that Lars Larson keeps going on about, there's bound to be a lot to flee from in Portland this summer. Here are a few of our favorite escape routes.

Blow Up Huge

On nice weekends, even the sprawling trails of Forest Park can fill up, and it sometimes feels more like a spandex-clad fitness rave than a quiet walk in the woods. Ditch the crowds without driving for miles by riding or walking Springwater Corridor out to Powell Butte. There's plenty of space at the top for picnicking, nine miles of wooded trails, and the views are some of the best in town. And, oh yeah, it's an extinct volcano and Portland's second-largest park after Forest Park (608 acres total). Powell Butte Nature Park, 16160 SE Powell Blvd., www.portlandonline.com/parks/finder.

Burn Your (Red)neck

Less than an hour from Portland's sophisticated downtown are the dirt-tracked jumps, bumps and berms of the Washougal Motocross Park. Revel in the badass growl of 125 and 250 cc dirt bikes as races are held most weekends from March to October. Circle your calendar for the A.M.A. Nationals on July 30. Onsite camping is available for all events, but call early for Nationals. The local track experts even offer motocross lessons for the more adventurous biker, and the family-owned track welcomes kids. Take I-5 to I-205 to Highway 14, go east to 15th Street in Washougal, turn left, go 6 1/2 miles, turn left on Hughes/Bear Prairie Road, then right on Borin Road to track. (360) 837-3975 for the track or (541)580-1919 for lessons, www.washougalmx.com.

Paddling with the Fishes

Scappoose Bay is one of the most ecologically diverse wetlands in the world, and it's been called the Everglades of the north. You're much more likely to encounter an otter than an alligator, and other common sightings include bald eagles, blue heron, cranes and sturgeon. The best way to see the bay is by boat, and kayaks and canoes are available at Scappoose Bay Kayaking for around $40 for a full day. Required skill levels range from beginner in the sheltered bay to advanced where the estuary merges with the Columbia River. Lessons are available. Scappoose Bay Kayaking, 57420 Old Portland Road, 397-2161, www.scappoosebaykayaking.com.

Asian Persuasion

So you want something to tear you away from the barbecue for a night or two? Well, Uwajimaya is your place. With humble beginnings as a tiny food cart in the Tacoma area, Uwajimaya has grown to be quite an impressive staple of the Pacific Northwest. Yeah, it's a supermarket, but that description does no justice to its plethora of Asian groceries, gifts and housewares, cosmetic boutique, multilingual bookstore, and variety of cooking classes. But cute little tea sets and paper lanterns aside, Uwajimaya is an Asian food haven. Get lost in its overwhelmingly comprehensive selection of authentic Japanese goods (not to mention Chinese, Filipino, Hawaiian, Indian, Korean, Thai and Vietnamese!). Scan the awe-inspiring aisles of fluorescent packages adorned with exotic foreign characters begging you to try out a new recipe. With nine tanks full of fresh shellfish, unusual delicacies like blowfish, sea urchin roe and jellyfish salad, not to mention exotic star fruits and fresh lychee, it's time to grab an apron and channel your bravery—'cause homemade tempura and mussel Thai red curry are only the beginning. Uwajimaya, 10500 SW Beaverton-Hillsdale Highway, 643-4512.

^Doggie Style

Dog parks flourish in the concrete jungle.

By AP Kryza

Consider this, Al Gore.

Park City isn't just a cute name. Portland hosts a massive number of lush, dog-friendly parks—an "inconvenient truth" indeed if you hate mutts.

Dog crap (and the process of excreting it) gives off trace amounts of phosphorous, nitrogen and methane—one of the greenhouse gases implicated in global warming, Dogs in America create over 3 billion pounds of waste a year—and you can bet your bottom collar that a lot of that pooping happens in parks.

With thousands of Portlanders take their bloated pooches to dog parks for a stinky communal romp, could Portland's dog parks be noxious pockets of poo responsible for recent weather swings in humidity and heat?

Could this story be yet another example of media scare tactics?

Maybe, but if you still let that fuzzy, slobbering ecoterrorist of yours run free knowing that his butt could be melting glaciers, here are some local, expansive, dog-friendly parks—and yes, they are well groomed. ("Off-leash" means total freedom for Fido. "Shared" means parts of the park require a leash.)

Alberta Park Northeast Killingsworth Street and 19th Avenue (shared).

Arbor Lodge Park North Greeley Avenue and Bryant Street (shared).

Brentwood Park Southeast 60th Avenue and Duke Street (off-leash).

Cathedral Park underneath the St. Johns Bridge (shared).

Chimney Park 9360 N Columbia Blvd. (off-leash).

Gabriel Park Southwest Vermont Street and 45th Avenue (off-leash).

Normandale Park Northeast 57th Avenue and Halsey Street (off-leash).

Sellwood Riverfront Park Southeast Spokane Street and Oaks Park Way (shared).

^Surfers with Curves

Dudes aren't the only ones riding the swell.

By Ian Marshall

Oregon surfing has little in common with the golden-brown tube riders who inhabit the warm waters of our neighbor to the south. We wear rubber suits almost a quarter-inch thick and will "work on a tan" on a 70-degree day. Besides the actual surfing itself, maybe the only element that we share with beach-blanket bingoers is an increase in participation by those a little more, well, girly. Over the past few years, lineups up and down the coast have felt a decrease in the testosterone average. Even if they are better-looking, surfers really don't want more bodies looking for rides. Surfers hate newbies, a.k.a. "kooks." Knowing the hierarchy and rules of wave riding is just as important as the act of surfing itself, and with all of these sirens taking to the waves, it's was just a matter of time before someone stepped into the role of teacher.

Rebecca Johnston squeezed into a wetsuit and plunged into the frigid Northern Pacific waters for the first time on Vancouver Island. She honed her skills on the perfect breakers of Hawaii for a few years, and returned to the Northwest to start Oregon Surf Adventures. The storefront in Cannon Beach is open daily for lessons, but they recommend a full immersion into the alternative lifestyle of wave riding via Surf Camp. Their Surfer Girl Camps offer a place for women to get their feet wet, and be indoctrinated into the life of surfing, from other women surfers. You will instantly realize what a kook is, but will learn what it takes to discard that label.

Camp fees include everything you need to get beat up by Mother Nature safely: Surfboard, wetsuit, gloves and booties. Go to www.oregonsurfadventures.com for more information. Bonus: The school also teaches those of us who don't wear bras.

Oregon Surf Adventures, 1235 S Hemlock Street, Cannon Beach, (503) 436-1481.