Gossip Should Have No Friends

[July 19th, 2006] ERECTION CORRECTION When Scoop reported that local director James Westby had persuaded porn legend Ron Jeremy to make a cameo in his new movie, The Auteur, while he was in town last week, we didn't have all the facts. Jeremy did make an appearance at a Fantasy for Adults Only outlet in Tigard on Saturday, July 8, but the Westby team actually made contact with Jeremy at the Southeast Portland swingers club Ace of Hearts the next night. It turns out that Jeremy was at the club Sunday evening to visit a friend, Ace manager Paul Smith , who raffled off a midnight candlelit dinner with the star. Amber Geiger , one of The Auteur's producers, held the winning ticket. According to Smith, she proposed the film cameo to Jeremy "over a meal of pan-seared ahi with accoutrements"—right in the middle of the swingers club. Now that's a Hollywood ending.

LOOK MOM, NO FEET! Though it may sound like a good reason to keep your kids off the Internet, Long Distance Pumping , or LDP, is actually a new Seattle-bred sport—skating without the pushing. By minimizing motion and pumping up and down on long, flexible skateboards, LDP'ers can skate for miles without ever touching their feet to the ground (like a Segway—see below—but cooler). The pioneer of the new sport, James Peters (pavedwave.com), rolled into town last weekend after pumping 204 miles from Seattle to Portland in just two days—ending his epic skate with a high-protein meal and a long sleep at his brother John's Vancouver home. "It was pretty euphoric, skating into the finish line, totally exhausted with people cheering me on," he says. Why the trek? Peters, whose daughter is autistic, says it's a trial run for a ride to benefit autism research next year.

BLAME CANADA Four Portland upscale eateries have heeded a campaign by the Humane Society to punish our northern neighbors for allowing fishermen to bludgeon baby seals to death . Castagna , Pazzo , Veritable Quandary and the Red Star Tavern no longer serve Canadian seafood. So far, the call to action has pushed 300 restaurants nationwide to make do without Canadian snow crabs , causing sales of that export staple to plummet by $160 million since the boycott began in March 2005. Pazzo chef John Eisenhart told Scoop he stopped using Canadian rock cod and red shrimp in his creations and is buying from California suppliers (who do not kill baby seals to the best of Scoop's knowledge) instead. The four local establishments are in illustrious company: The campaign's website (www.protectseals.org) lists the Playboy Mansion as a participant.

SCOOP STALKING Where did Scoop spot Pittsburgh steel boho billionaire Henry Hillman Jr.? In the Subway at Northwest 23rd Avenue and Overton Street on Monday afternoon. While Scoop was too far back in line to see whether Hillman ordered a six-inch or a footlong daily special, it wasn't too hard to figure out who owned the super-spendy Segway scooter coolin' just outside the cheap-o sammie shop. Segway to Subway? Gawd, rich people are weird. Speaking of spending, was that Kathleen Hanna of Bikini Kill and Le Tigre fame buying midcentury modern lamps at last weekend's big, open-air antique show in NoPo's Expo Center? According to Eric Vetter, who owns North Interstate's Find Antiques, that was the name he put on her receipt.

CAKE WALK Big news from the sugar front: Saint Cupcake has been fattening up Northwest Portland residents since last December, but co-owner and baker Jami Curl just let Scoop know that the addictive shop is opening a second location on Southeast Belmont Street this fall, right across the street from Zupan's Market. Curl will still bake up all her decadent treats at the Northwest Flanders Street locale while the new Belmont digs serve as the Southeast 'hood's new frosted-crack repository and a sweet event rental space.