Club 1222, but I need to scan the parking lot first.
August 27th, 2008
“Son of a bitch, you’re running up the meter!”27 comments
August 20th, 2008
"Hey bro, remember me? You wrote that story about me in the paper."3 comments
August 13th, 2008
“It’s the Californians, man, the Californians are the worst.”15 comments
August 6th, 2008
The middle-aged man I picked up at Vendetta is in a hyperactively verbose lather ...0 comments
July 23rd, 2008
When I step into the obese old woman's apartment5 comments
July 16th, 2008
The obese old woman at Fred Meyer has a bad hip and a wheelchair...8 comments
July 9th, 2008
“...I need to take a shower first and wash all of this blood off.”6 comments
July 2nd, 2008
“So I’ve got these two women in the back of my cab who just refuse to get out...”8 comments
June 25th, 2008
“My friend’s getting divorced, and he’s really drunk,” says the bartender...8 comments
June 18th, 2008
There’s nothing like a good Friday night, and I’m referring to the money.3 comments
[July 26th, 2006] "Club 1222, but I need to scan the parking lot first." This is seldom a good sign. Usually the passenger who says this is looking for a significant other's car, and this means drama.
Sure enough, her car is seen, my man goes in, and is in short order put out again by security. This brings on The Rant. However, I've heard this guy, and this guy's particular rant, before.
"Dude, I've driven you several times, and you've complained about her each time: how you buy her nice things, pay her car insurance, and yet she still treats you like shit. Why do you put up with it? Is she the best cocksucker in the world or something?"
"You hit the nail right on the head, right there, you did," he replies. "She's the best I've ever had in 34 countries I've visited." This raises the rather unappetizing image of him visiting countries for the express purpose of getting laid.
Thankfully, he distracts me from this by ranting about how she had him put out of the club. She was apparently upset by someone else in the club telling her that her man had recently left with another woman. He claims to have gone up to her tonight and asked her to point him toward "the simpleton filling her head with all this shit. Just tell me who he is." Instead, she signaled security.
"Sounds like someone who wants to date her," say I. "Damn straight he wants to date her," says he.
It seems her prowess has not gone unnoticed.
Story continues below
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RECENT COMMENTS ON “Club 1222, but I need to scan the parking lot first.”
Club 1222, but I need to scan the parking lot first.Hey, they aren't paying me to write theosophical treatises you know. They're paying me for freaky stories irreverently told.It's a newspaper,...
Club 1222, but I need to scan the parking lot first.And what would Admiral Rickover say about people who use their valuable time to comment on the size of various minds reading and writing vari...
Club 1222, but I need to scan the parking lot first.You guys must not be as faithful in reading this column as I am: I lifted that quote straight from Night Cabbie's own column from a few week...
Yo Fritz,
I find it as equally entertaining as do you. I threw that Rickover quote into a column in much the same spirit one throws a Mentos into a bottle of Coke...
