Gossip Should Have No Friends

[October 11th, 2006] NAME AND NUMBER, PLEASE Last week, restaurateur Bruce Carey fessed up and revealed that his Northwest 23rd Avenue restaurant/marketing blunder Balvo will close Saturday, Oct. 14, and will be replaced by a the second coming of chef Christopher Israel (Zefiro, Saucebox). The new restaurant, 23 Hoyt , is slated to open Wednesday, Oct. 18—which just happens to be the day our Restaurant Guide 2006 hits the streets (coincidence?). Scoop hears that the digit-happy moniker, which Carey and company say reflects that the restaurant is "direct, with it [and] deconstructed to its simplest point of origin," beat out suggestions that were something like "Avventura" and "Intime" from poet Sunny Peters (who also named Bluehour). Plus, it comes hot on the trail of another number-humper, Tabla 's new Pearl District project, Ten 01 , which will also open later this fall. What is it with these numerical references? OK, from now on, please refer to WW as "22-20 ," which reflects our physical address at 2220 NW Quimby St. and our eagle-eyed gaze, deconstructed to the point of, oh hell, never mind.

BRAND LAND Holy shnikies! Scoop is thrilled to see that two local fashion designers are a hit with major retail stores! Mario's 3.10 (the store's brand-new Bridgeport Village outlet) just picked up 10 pieces from Anna Cohen 's spring-summer 2007 line. Kudos to Anna—and kudos to Mario's for working with locals. In other news, Bonnie Heart Clyde , Emily Katz's whimsical embroidery-on-cotton line, has expanded to shoes, which were snapped up by national chain Anthropologie . Now that's what we're talking about.

RATED R—FOR ROCK Wanna hear "The Wall" performed by precocious li'l tykes? You're in luck: A Paul Green School of Rock is opening this month in Portland, and it's ready to teach Northwest brats (ages 7-18) everything they need to know about rockin' out à la that Jack Black movie. Young rockers can enroll in three-month sessions with Prof. Carl Hinds (She-Males member, once toured with GWAR) and other rock staffers, where they'll receive private music lessons and attend seminars on topics like "Music Business 101," "Tightening up the Rhythm Section" and "Your World Tour: An Overview of International Possession Laws." (OK, that last one was a joke.) Each program culminates in a concert where the budding rock stars show off their stage presence (the fall season will pay tribute to Black Sabbath and Pink Floyd). Bitchin'! For the curious, the School of Rock will be hosting an open house noon-5 pm Saturday, Oct. 14. Check out schoolofrock.com/portland or call 231-2945 for details.

WHAT YOU MISSED ON WW'S LOCALCUT.COM THIS WEEK

Amy McCullough uncovers the hilarious origins of the band name the Buttfrenchers and gives new meaning to the word "juicy" ... Casey Jarman provides an update on local MC Illmaculate, who will soon be headed to the World Rap Championships in Las Vegas to share with other rappers such pleasantries as "You're a broke poor bitch, you should suck no more dick, 'cause you got cold sore lips, and a coke whore's lisp" ... In light of recent ASCAP fines levied against Imbibe (which are likely to put the Southeast club out of business), Michael Byrne gives fair warning to those who would dare play a cover of "You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet" without paying a $2,000 fee: The recording-industry ninjas are watching ... Sam Soule welcomes rock back to the Tonic Lounge with a spirited live review of the Super Destroyers show ... Plus, live reviews of the Dropkick Murphys, the Plot to Blow Up the Eiffel Tower and Munch's Make Believe Band at Chuck E. Cheese.