August 27th, 2008
“Son of a bitch, you’re running up the meter!”27 comments
August 20th, 2008
"Hey bro, remember me? You wrote that story about me in the paper."3 comments
August 13th, 2008
“It’s the Californians, man, the Californians are the worst.”15 comments
August 6th, 2008
The middle-aged man I picked up at Vendetta is in a hyperactively verbose lather ...0 comments
July 23rd, 2008
When I step into the obese old woman's apartment5 comments
July 16th, 2008
The obese old woman at Fred Meyer has a bad hip and a wheelchair...8 comments
July 9th, 2008
“...I need to take a shower first and wash all of this blood off.”6 comments
July 2nd, 2008
“So I’ve got these two women in the back of my cab who just refuse to get out...”8 comments
June 25th, 2008
“My friend’s getting divorced, and he’s really drunk,” says the bartender...8 comments
June 18th, 2008
There’s nothing like a good Friday night, and I’m referring to the money.3 comments
[November 15th, 2006] I'm always being asked where I'm from. Often I'm asked if I'm British, although I suspect that's more to do with the way I tend to talk, little archaic word usages, etc., rather than any affected accent. I got over the Monty Python phase at age 14, as we all did.
My vowels do sometimes drag out a bit, I confess. But that's just an inordinate fondness for Dorothy Parker more than anything. However, I have indeed carefully and deliberately cultivated an almost perfectly accentless form of English, and for a reason. My mother is from the South, and growing up I talked more like her than I did my D.C.-bred father. My British passengers joke about how their accents win them a free pass here; people think they're brilliant. With a Southern accent, it's the opposite. When a Southern passenger rides with me for more than five minutes, oh, it comes back with a vengeance.
My passenger tonight notices the change over the course of our long ride, and asks about it. Sheepishly, I explain. He laughs and tells me a great story. He's a lawyer from Alabama. He lets his accent run "thick as molasses" all through the trial, because it "lulls the other side into thinking I'm an idiot. They raise fewer objections; they just get downright sloppy." Then for the summation, the voice he acquired when graduating cum laude from Georgetown comes out. Wham.
"I'll bet you've got a terrific case record," I say.
"Best in all of Alabama, sweetheart."
RECENT COMMENTS ON “I'm always being asked where I'm from.”
h-I'm not a southerner, I just have a trace of it from my mother, who is. D.C. is a weird mix of accents, because so many people from all over the world live there, so it was a great place to start th...
Being a lifelong student and observer of etymologies, accents, and phrases, I understand that a standard trope of any U.S. comedian wishing to portray someone as an idiot is to present him in a Southe...
Oh John, that is so funny, and so true. A very working-class Londoner in my cab and I were talking about stuff like this. The accent that tars him back home makes him sound posh here. I told him about...
Now that Anna Nichole has passed on, I hope the columns get a little more relational.










