August 27th, 2008
“Son of a bitch, you’re running up the meter!”27 comments
August 20th, 2008
"Hey bro, remember me? You wrote that story about me in the paper."3 comments
August 13th, 2008
“It’s the Californians, man, the Californians are the worst.”15 comments
August 6th, 2008
The middle-aged man I picked up at Vendetta is in a hyperactively verbose lather ...0 comments
July 23rd, 2008
When I step into the obese old woman's apartment5 comments
July 16th, 2008
The obese old woman at Fred Meyer has a bad hip and a wheelchair...8 comments
July 9th, 2008
“...I need to take a shower first and wash all of this blood off.”6 comments
July 2nd, 2008
“So I’ve got these two women in the back of my cab who just refuse to get out...”8 comments
June 25th, 2008
“My friend’s getting divorced, and he’s really drunk,” says the bartender...8 comments
June 18th, 2008
There’s nothing like a good Friday night, and I’m referring to the money.3 comments
[February 21st, 2007] I can't begin to count the number of times I've thought this. Hello?! There's someone else in the car with you! We're so close to you that we can hear not just the little sighs and groans, but the rustling of cloth and opening of zippers as well! Tell me, would you do this in front of, oh, your waiter? While waiting for your groceries to be bagged?
I'm not talking about mere overdone PDA here. I'm talking about what amounts to fucking foreplay. Every week, I'm asked if I've ever seen Taxicab Confessions. I say, "Yep, saw one episode, a couple went at it fast and hard in full view of every single camera and the driver. I figured I'd seen everything the show was about, and didn't need to watch it again."
Tonight's couple is the most egregious yet. You know, I'm glad you're in your late '40s, both really overweight, but are still extremely hot for each other. It gives me hope for the future, really, it truly does. But I wouldn't want to see it no matter what you look like, sorry.
Previously I've only rolled my third eye and suffered inwardly; this is the first time I've actually said it aloud. Their response? "We have a room, you're taking us there." "Wait, we're three blocks away! You could have been separated for the last year and still wait that long." They straighten their clothes. They tip handsomely. They then hurry....
—nightcabbie@wweek.com
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RECENT COMMENTS ON “"Oh for god's sake, get a room!" ”
I have not been adverse to a little touching under the skirt of heavy making in the back of a cab. Why the big deal cabbies? If I wanted to wait until I got home, I'd take tri-met, it's cheaper.
NC, they lowered the max amount we can charge for bodily fluid spillage to $25. Fuckers.
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