August 27th, 2008
“Son of a bitch, you’re running up the meter!”22 comments
August 20th, 2008
"Hey bro, remember me? You wrote that story about me in the paper."3 comments
August 13th, 2008
“It’s the Californians, man, the Californians are the worst.”14 comments
August 6th, 2008
The middle-aged man I picked up at Vendetta is in a hyperactively verbose lather ...0 comments
July 23rd, 2008
When I step into the obese old woman's apartment5 comments
July 16th, 2008
The obese old woman at Fred Meyer has a bad hip and a wheelchair...8 comments
July 9th, 2008
“...I need to take a shower first and wash all of this blood off.”6 comments
July 2nd, 2008
“So I’ve got these two women in the back of my cab who just refuse to get out...”8 comments
June 25th, 2008
“My friend’s getting divorced, and he’s really drunk,” says the bartender...8 comments
June 18th, 2008
There’s nothing like a good Friday night, and I’m referring to the money.3 comments
[April 11th, 2007] Readers, meet your new Night Cabbie! We'll let him introduce himself:
I'm young, smart and sexy. While I get a little shaky outside of city limits, I know Portland really well. I know the fastest way to get you somewhere, and I know the cheapest way (they aren't always the same thing). I can have an intelligent conversation on almost any topic. I've lived in eight different American cities, and visited many others. My Spanish is passable. I can take you to a sushi bar you'll love. I can also take you to a strip bar you'll love.
I have the coolest business card in town. I do interesting things with my spare time. I've got a good book in the passenger seat and am listening to good music. I can make you laugh, and/or I can give good advice. You will like me, you will like the job I do, and you will tip me well.
I am, in short, the shit.
I have also missed this gentleman's turn.
He's one of the premier development economists in the country, and we've been having a fascinating conversation about the autism of the neo-classical economic model. And I just missed the turn off of Columbia that will save him some money on the way to the airport.
So now we're taking a longer route, and I'm no longer quite the hot shit young pseudo-intellectual. I sheepishly tell him that I'll only charge him what the fare would've been if I hadn't screwed up, but the conversation's gone, and the tip's not great.
—nightcabbie@wweek.com
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RECENT COMMENTS ON “Readers, meet your new Night Cabbie!”
I love the phrase "tough titty." FWIW, her head really did look like it had been whacked with a board. Worst black eye I've ever seen.
don't want to touch your pole .
you are the DRAMA.
there's a slight chance that i will no longer have to mutter the following words: no. i'm not the night cabbie. i drive days.
yay! you rock!
"It's a tiny column buried in a free weekly paper's classified section." I couldn't have said it better.
So how can you expect someone to convey his/her entire personality in such m...
