Gossip Should Have No Friends

[April 11th, 2007] FULL CIRCLE JERK Scoop can report that the Paris Theater , on Southwest 3rd Avenue between Burnside and Ankeny Street, will become an 18-and-over adult-movie house by the beginning of May. According to its new owner, Ray Billings , who also owns an adult-themed theater off Southwest Jefferson Street (and who vanished in '03 only to pop up again in '05; see WW, June 2, 2004, and July 27, 2005), the Paris, after a few cosmetic changes, will once again "cater to the needs of its customers." "Again" is appropriate, since the storied space was actually home to a dirty-flick house in the 1970s, too—Deep Throat played there for something like six years. Billings says the one-screen venue will show primarily straight as well as classic, fetish, anime and gay porn films . It will also offers snacks (take that, neighboring Voodoo Doughnut) and a variety of non-alcoholic "erotic" drinks . "We expect it to be a younger crowd," says Billings.

IF YOU CAN'T TAKE THE HEAT... It's been a blistering-hot week for local restaurants, as previously reported on wweek.com: First, Chef Tommy Habetz's new Northwest HQ Meriwether's suffered a one-alarm fire last Wednesday night. "They got pretty lucky," Portland Fire Bureau public information officer Lt. Allen Oswalt told WW, the "smoldering" fire was caused by long metal lag screws—used to attach a stove to the wall—that heated over time and began to oxidize inside the wall . Weird. Then, early this past Monday, spontaneous combustion struck Northeast Alberta's Vita Cafe , causing a small storeroom fire and about $25,000 worth of smoke damage. Vita owners Aaron Woo and Karen Woodbury couldn't be reached for comment, but our main fire man Oswalt explained that spontaneous flare-ups aren't always the work of seriously pissed-off telekinetic kids . Investigators think the Vita blaze was caused by freshly laundered cleaning rags once used to mop up oily kitchen spills. When launderers pack clean, warm towels into bundles, the trace oils still found on the rags can set the natural cotton fibers a-smolder if the towels are not spread out to cool once they are delivered to a restaurant. Who knew? Nonetheless, Scoop's taking these two incidences as a warning: Don't anger your appliances and cleaning supplies. They'll get you for it.

ACE's HIGH The New York Times loves Portland's new Ace Hotel, and reportedly so does actor Colin Hanks, who is said to be living in one of its ready-made spaces. The one-time member of father Tom Hanks' sperm count has been tooling around Portland for the past several months, filming the forthcoming thriller Untraceable with Diane Lane.

WHAT YOU MISSED THIS WEEK ON WW'S LOCALCUT.COM We bring you two brand spankin' new videos from the Shaky Hands and 31Knots. >> Total sellouts Tranquilazer make an appearance on the Converse website and Illmaculate/The Saurus's rap battles are pimped by corporate tycoon Comcast. >> Jason Simms' Friendly Friendly World column takes on Seattle bums and the Jew's harp. >> In tour diaries, Sandpeople's DJ Spark kicks it in the Cleveland snow and Danny Seim of Menomena vows to end the AIDS crisis. John Weinland makes its way up the California coast, bringin' sexy back as it goes. >> The Recyclery puts on a benefit for the ambitious collective, izVillage. >> Band Name of the Week gets berated by past winners, and crowns The Lord Weird Slough Feg. >> Plus, free MP3s from Danava, the Snuggle Ups, Rob Walmart and Clorox Girls.