Pulling gallbladders through the mouth and a penis through the courts.

[June 27th, 2007]

Winners

Beavers baseball is no fluke. For the second straight year, Oregon State University faced the University of North Carolina in the College World Series final. And, again, OSU handed UNC its ass. Till 2008, Tar Heels.

Mmm-mmm, gallbladder ! A Portland surgeon has become the first in the U.S. to remove a gallbladder through a woman's mouth, meaning the mouth now joins the vagina and anus as orifices from which the organ can be removed. Pros: less scarring and shorter recovery than the traditional abdominal incision. Cons: Your gallbladder gets pulled out through your mouth.

Wow! Oregon Iron Works is impressive. Without ever building a streetcar—or even submitting a bid for a pending streetcar prototype—the Clackamas manufacturer (with lots of help from U.S. Rep. Peter DeFazio, D-Ore.) won a potentially enormous streetcar contract, according to The Oregonian. Remember, OIW, no wheels.

Losers

Hummers (the kind that suck gas, not, uh...never mind) are in the sights of U.S. Rep. Earl Blumenauer, who's trying to kill an odd tax break enjoyed by owners of large SUVs. And this isn't the only worthy use of the Oregon Democrat's new juice on the House Ways and Means Committee—he's also hard at work to create federal tax-deductible trusts for your surviving pets.

Multnomah County Sheriff Bernie Giusto's saga took another twist last week. The Tribune reported that Fred Leonhardt, a speechwriter for ex-Gov. Neil Goldschmidt, is cooperating with a state investigation into Giusto—and has set investigators upon another potential critic, Giusto's own brother, Tom. Only one solution, Bernie: more jails!

The Oregon Supreme Court will decide the fate of a 12-year-old Oregon boy's foreskin. Divorced parents James and Lisa Boldt are at odds over their son's circumcision. The custody-holding father converted to Judaism in the late '90s and wants his son sliced. And his son ostensibly agrees. But Mom says he's only on the bris bandwagon to please Dad. Wherever the Scalpel of Justice falls, this "unnamed minor" loses. His parents are discussing his penis. In court. Under media scrutiny. And if he wins, part of his junk gets cut off.