August 27th, 2008
“Son of a bitch, you’re running up the meter!”27 comments
August 20th, 2008
"Hey bro, remember me? You wrote that story about me in the paper."3 comments
August 13th, 2008
“It’s the Californians, man, the Californians are the worst.”15 comments
August 6th, 2008
The middle-aged man I picked up at Vendetta is in a hyperactively verbose lather ...0 comments
July 23rd, 2008
When I step into the obese old woman's apartment5 comments
July 16th, 2008
The obese old woman at Fred Meyer has a bad hip and a wheelchair...8 comments
July 9th, 2008
“...I need to take a shower first and wash all of this blood off.”6 comments
July 2nd, 2008
“So I’ve got these two women in the back of my cab who just refuse to get out...”8 comments
June 25th, 2008
“My friend’s getting divorced, and he’s really drunk,” says the bartender...8 comments
June 18th, 2008
There’s nothing like a good Friday night, and I’m referring to the money.3 comments
[August 1st, 2007]
The old drunk is, well, drunk. Really drunk. As always. He's just told me that he only has $20, with the meter at $22. I've told him the ride's over.
"This is the thing I hate about people from Portland, they just aren't helpful!"
"No man, this is the deal: The last time you were in my cab, you spilled sauce all over everything, and then had me park so you could throw chicken bones at the MAX, and then were four dollars short. Time before that, you had me wait outside of Winco for 20 minutes so you could buy kitty litter, and threw up on the side of the cab. Now you're expecting me to drive to outer Vancouver for half price. What would you do, in my position?"
"I'd be a nice guy!"
"I was a nice guy when I didn't call the cops last time. I was a nice guy when I didn't punch you for throwing up on my car. I was a nice guy when I let you in the cab tonight. Now you want me to be a nice guy by letting you steal 20 dollars and 20 minutes of my time?"
"Exactly, because you're a nice guy!"
"Well, no more Mister Nice Guy. Get out."
"You cabbies just aren't any help, I'm never calling this company again!"
"Hey, you're welcome to call in and complain, but you've gotta realize it's a two-way street."
"This is a one-way!"
I roll my eyes and drive off.
Story continues below
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