[August 22nd, 2007]

WINNERS

Portland is poised to have the most fabulous election ever. The city could become a haven for gay politicians in 2008 if Mayor Tom Potter decides next month not to seek re-election. It’s old news that such a decision would clear the way for queer Commish Sam Adams. But Pearl District developer Bob Ball—a wannabe pol who’s also gay—is voicing increased interest in the job, setting the stage for homo a homo combat in 2008. For more,go here.

Buh-bye, McArthur Court. Hello there, Knight Arena. Nike gazillionaire Phil Knight’s $100 million donation to UO athletics means Ducks basketball fans will finally get their new arena. Next: For an extra $1 million, profs will slap swooshes on their corduroy jackets.

Lars Larson probably sacrificed an intern to Ayn Rand in gratitude upon hearing the alleged murderers of a 15-year-old girl in Milwaukie are illegal immigrants. Larson has blasted The Oregonian ’s coverage of the slaying, and his running tirade against illegal immigrants got a further boost when The O ’s editorial board wrote that illegal immigrants convicted of crimes should be deported. If only a Mexican would take Larson’s job.

LOSERS

Clackamas County Sheriff Craig Roberts had a week so rough he made MultCo’s Sheriff Bernie Giusto look good. Two of Roberts’ deputies were arrested Aug. 16. Donald Mainero allegedly had sex with a teenage cadet, while Bryan Lavigne is accused of using excessive force on a juvenile suspect. Maybe that passes for youth outreach in Clackistan.

The Boy Scouts of America is the new Catholic Church. An unidentified former Portland Scout has filed a $3.1 million lawsuit accusing then-Scout leader Donald L. Santy of molesting him over 50 years ago. At least the Scouts’ ban on gay troop leaders ensures kids will be abused by repressed “straight” guys.

The Portland Police Association hasn’t found many sympathizers in the People’s Republic of Portland after Lt. Jeff Kaer was fired for killing an unarmed man. Least of all Mayor Tom Potter, who upheld the firing last week. Wait, didn’t Potter used to be a cop?