August 27th, 2008
“Son of a bitch, you’re running up the meter!”27 comments
August 20th, 2008
"Hey bro, remember me? You wrote that story about me in the paper."3 comments
August 13th, 2008
“It’s the Californians, man, the Californians are the worst.”15 comments
August 6th, 2008
The middle-aged man I picked up at Vendetta is in a hyperactively verbose lather ...0 comments
July 23rd, 2008
When I step into the obese old woman's apartment5 comments
July 16th, 2008
The obese old woman at Fred Meyer has a bad hip and a wheelchair...8 comments
July 9th, 2008
“...I need to take a shower first and wash all of this blood off.”6 comments
July 2nd, 2008
“So I’ve got these two women in the back of my cab who just refuse to get out...”8 comments
June 25th, 2008
“My friend’s getting divorced, and he’s really drunk,” says the bartender...8 comments
June 18th, 2008
There’s nothing like a good Friday night, and I’m referring to the money.3 comments
[February 27th, 2008]
“Can I ask you for some advice on a personal issue?”
“Sure man, go ahead.” My questioner seems like a nice enough guy, and he’s tipped well in the past.
“Here’s the thing,” he says. “You know I’m gay, right? Everyone does.”
“Yeah, you were just saying that.”
“Well…recently I’ve been doing some, like, some thinking and wondering…”
“Uh-huh?”
“Well,” his voice drops to a whisper, “I think I might be interested in women.”
I bust up laughing.
“It’s not funny!,” he responds.
“Man, for so many years people had to carry the stress of being closeted, and here you are embarrassed to admit that you might dig chicks. Shit, must be a sign of progress when someone’s afraid they might not be totally gay.”
“I guess so, but still, everyone thinks of me as gay, and I’m not sure I really am.”
I settle down long enough to give him a brief and likely inaccurate account of what I remember about Freud’s take on sexuality, which in my telling basically boils down to “it’s normal to be curious.” It seems like the right thing to say, and tacking a famous name on there makes it sound better. “What it boils down to,” I tell him, “is that your real friends are always going to be your friends, and fuck what anyone else thinks.”
“So it’s OK that I’m interested in pussy?”
“I hope so, because I sure am. Really, it’s fine.”
“Thanks.” He tips me 40 bucks for the short trip.
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RECENT COMMENTS ON ““Can I ask you for some advice on a personal issue?””
Thanks. I remember when I first realized the same thing. Difference being I'm female. I am thankful that you were the person he talked to. Thankful also that the people I knew didn't make me feel b...
Time to change the myspace profile to "not sure" dude!
Neck Ed was watching the flick - What Women Want - Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt starring.
He had to ask himself - should I be enjoying this?
