“It’s the Californians, man, the Californians are the worst.”
August 27th, 2008
“Son of a bitch, you’re running up the meter!”27 comments
August 20th, 2008
"Hey bro, remember me? You wrote that story about me in the paper."3 comments
August 6th, 2008
The middle-aged man I picked up at Vendetta is in a hyperactively verbose lather ...0 comments
July 23rd, 2008
When I step into the obese old woman's apartment5 comments
July 16th, 2008
The obese old woman at Fred Meyer has a bad hip and a wheelchair...8 comments
July 9th, 2008
“...I need to take a shower first and wash all of this blood off.”6 comments
July 2nd, 2008
“So I’ve got these two women in the back of my cab who just refuse to get out...”8 comments
June 25th, 2008
“My friend’s getting divorced, and he’s really drunk,” says the bartender...8 comments
June 18th, 2008
There’s nothing like a good Friday night, and I’m referring to the money.3 comments
June 11th, 2008
The old man in the karaoke bar’s parking lot insists that he doesn’t need any help...0 comments
[August 13th, 2008]
“It’s the Californians, man, the Californians are the worst.” The man is in his early 30s and we have been talking about Portland as I drive him to his home off Rosa Parks Way.
“You think so?” I ask, “because as annoying as they are, it’s the hipsters I can’t stand. Most of them seem to be from California, too, but they’re even more self-righteous than the middle-aged couples.”
He laughs. “I’m guessing you don’t have kids,” he says, and I concede the point. “I have to drop my kid off to play with theirs, and they’re some smug motherfuckers,” he continues. “And the thing about them is that they’re the ones who’re really changing things, the ones who realized they could sell their place in Cali and get a much nicer one here, back before the market died down there. You’ve got to follow the money.”
“But if the hipsters hadn’t moved in first to make these neighborhoods ‘safer,’ the Californians wouldn’t have ever thought that they were hip or arty or whatever, and wouldn’t have moved there.”
“True enough.”
“I mean, it’s like Portland’s victim to Burning Man imperialism—all these kids heard some good things and were like, ‘Let’s build a community,’ never mind that there already was one.”
“Nice city, we’ll take it,” he mutters. “I guess they’re leaving us Gresham.”
“Have you seen what’s going on on Foster? They’re moving east pretty quickly.”
“Portland—where capitalist evil wears American Apparel,” he says, “and sends its kids to yoga.”
I laugh.
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RECENT COMMENTS ON ““It’s the Californians, man, the Californians are the worst.””
S. Baumann: Even assuming the kids you speak of really do exist, the irony is that they've probably long since been relocated to Parkrose, Powellhurst or Gresham, aka 'the numbers,' once idyllic, peac...
"Even assuming the kids you speak of really do exist"
What the fuck is that supposed to mean ? Bet you wouldn't say that to my face.
If you go to California, everyone's from here, and nobody gives them any grief. You don't get to pick where you grow up, so don't be a bitch to sommeone over something they couldn't do anything about....
If people move from a lower income economy to Portland, they're seeking opportunity. That's cool. If they move from a wealthier economy, like California or New York, to Portland, they're exploiting ...
