Hope. Change. Capitalism. Barbed Wire.

[August 27th, 2008]

Even as Sen. Hillary Clinton’s supporters are busy botching the unity theme at the Democratic National Convention, we’re happy to report Clinton’s moribund presidential campaign has graciously united its fundraising cash with its unpaid, Portland-area bills (see “Hill’s Bills,” WW, June 4, 2008). A survey by Murmurs this week reveals Clinton has finally paid her tabs, for rental fees and campaign rallies, at Oregon Health & Science University ($16,428), Hillsboro School District ($8,308), Portland Public Schools ($3,580) and Oregon City School District ($1,440).

There’s a weird Oregon connection to “Gitmo on the Platte,” protesters’ nickname for the big warehouse filled with barb-wire cages intended for unruly dreadlocked kids at the Democratic National Convention in Denver. After the confetti drops and the conventioneers go home, the city of Denver is selling the 50,000-square-foot building to the Portland-based developers ScanlanKemperBard for $3.4 million, Denver’s Westword weekly reported. Federal elections records show that last year, SKB chairman Robert D. Scanlan donated $2,300 to Barack Obama, vice chair Peter W. Stott cast his $2,300 lot with Mitt Romney and executive L. Martin Brantley gave $1,000 to the recently indicted Alaska Sen. Ted Stevens.

The Lord provideth for Spectrum Events, the Texas-based company that oversaw concessions at last weekend’s CityFest, the Christian revival that took over Waterfront Park Aug. 22 and 23. Food vendors who wanted to sell water or soda had to buy the drinks directly from Spectrum at $32 per case, and sell them at $2 a bottle for water and $3 a bottle for soda. That would be fine, except that vendors were obliged to give 35 percent of all sales to CityFest. Which means anyone who sold a case of water bottles actually lost 80 cents. Missie Martinez of Spectrum Events agreed that vendors “could potentially lose money.” Murmurs notes that when godless-commie-Muslim-black-nationalist Barack Obama was at Waterfront Park on a hot day, he had volunteers giving water away.

Finally, turning from politics to a related profession, pornography: Janine M. James, better known as the X-Rated Critics Organization’s 2006 MILF of the year, Janine Lindemulder (credits include Janine Loves Jenna, Sleeping Booty and WMB: Weapons of Masturbation), pled guilty to tax evasion last week in Eugene. Prosecutors nailed the 39-year-old California native after she bought a $647,000 home in Eugene while owing some $200,000 in federal taxes. On the other hand, if the prospect of a year in prison is the worst thing that happens to you after a career in porn, you probably made out OK.