Our Spin On 7 Days of News

[September 17th, 2008] Green Biz News: The feds busted a huge marijuana operation allegedly run by a Mexican cartel on the Warm Springs Indian Reservation in central Oregon. Street value: $10 million.

Willie Horton Redux: U.S. Sen. Gordon Smith (R-Ore.) came out with new ads attacking Democratic challenger Jeff Merkley for “siding with criminals.” One ad, which attacks Merkley’s voting record in the state Legislature, features a victim of serial rapist Richard Gilmore.

WW EXCLUSIVE! The ad Smith almost ran:(Cue Beethoven’s Fifth. Slow-motion closeup of Jeff Merkley eating a hot dog.)

Scary Voice: “I’m Jeff Merkley. I want to let all the violent, crazy criminals out of jail.”

(Cut to rape scene from A Clockwork Orange. )

“I stole the idea from my friend, Saddam Hussein. Poor Saddam.”

(Clip of Saddam hanging.)

“Vote for Merkley. Vote for chaos. Mwa-ha-ha!”

(Smith, smiling benevolently, with halo.)

Smith: “I’m Gordon Smith and I’m running scare—er, I approve this ad.”

Green Biz News II: PSU got a $25 million foundation grant for “sustainability,” the largest donation in university history.

Annals of Oligarchy: Esquire magazine named Russian billionaire and Oregon Steel owner Roman Abramovich one of the 21st century’s most influential people. It could be bad news for the old ally of Vladimir Putin, who’s been known to turn on friends when they get too powerful. Last week, Russian regulators threatened to slap Abramovich’s steel conglomerate with a $4 million fine for price fixing.