[January 7th, 2009]

This Thursday, Jan. 8, the University of Florida Gators will play the University of Oklahoma Sooners in the most important football game in the history of 2009. You may not think you care about this football game. Come to think of it, we don’t care about this football game. But we do care about what you should eat while watching this football game. You should eat Buffalo Chicken Dip.

Willamette Week has seen the face of the obesity epidemic, and it is this dip: a bubbling, lava-orange substance that tastes like hot wings tossed in a blender with a kilo of cream cheese. In fact, that’s pretty much the recipe. Laura Jasiczek, native Minnesotan and former WW receptionist, introduced us to this artery-clogger early in 2008. “It is the easiest recipe ever and it is very bad for you,” she explains. “Enjoy!”

^Headout Picks

THURSDAY JAN. 8

[WORDS] JON RAYMOND
Just by virtue of living in Portland you’re in a Jon Raymond story, right now. Find out how your life turns out by nabbing the Wendy Lucy scribe’s new collection of short stories, Livability. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

[TATAS] INDULGENCE
The burlesque night makes its debut this week, with performers from Portland, Seattle, New Orleans and, uh, Corvallis. Local duo Euphemia Fox and Minix Mips combine vintage striptease and swing dancing into something they call “swingtease.” Hawthorne Theatre, 3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 869-3565. 9 pm. $10.

[CLASSICAL] CHERRYHOLMES AND THE OREGON SYMPHONY
Crossover symphony concerts often feature embarrassing bloated pop arrangements, but this concert featuring the Grammy-nominated California bluegrass family sextet is a hot choice. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 228-1353. 7:30 pm. $15-$80.

FRIDAY JAN. 9

[PERFORMANCE] THE SEAFARER
A boozy Christmas Eve poker game goes terribly wrong for Dubliners Sharky and Richard when the mysterious and sinister Mr. Lockhart shows up. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Sundays, 2 pm Sundays, 11 am Wednesdays Jan. 28 and Feb. 4. Closes Feb. 15. $25-$47.

[MUSIC] BRIGHTBLACK MORNING LIGHT
Brightblack Morning Light makes slow-motion, dreamy waves of sound, but beneath the murk you’ll find melodies inspired as much by classic doo-wop as druggy dream pop. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 9 pm. $10. 21+.

SATURDAY JAN. 10

[PRANK] NO PANTS ON MAX 2009
Portland’s best stripped-down public transit ride-along is back. Meet at Gateway Transit Center (2:30 pm, $2 fare) and prepare to drop trou and ride. Organizers request “no thongs”—briefs and boxers only. Visit improveverywhere.com for details on the original NYC No Pants event or search “Improv Portland” on Facebook for local info.

MONDAY JAN. 12

[MUSIC] GLASVEGAS
Imagine Begbie from Trainspotting crooning anguished, pop-inspired breakup songs in an accent thicker than a slab of frozen haggis. Perfect for a frozen Monday, no? Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $15. 21+.