[June 10th, 2009]

Left Image Courtesy of Nik Wilhelm Right Image Courtesy of Carye Bye

If there’s one thing Portland loves, it’s bikes. If there are two things Portland loves, it’s bikes and gays. In a seemingly cruel twist of fate, Pedalpalooza and Portland Pride 2009, the Rose City’s major celebrations of each culture, overlap. So, what’s a good Portlander to do? We’ve compiled a list of events guaranteed to guide middle-of-the-roaders to the right event for them. Don’t like gussied-up pets? Fair enough—the cyclists have many a naked ride. Not so into bike porn? Bring the kids to the refined lesbian choir. And for the truly torn, get the best of both worlds at Pedalpalooza’s gay bike parade.

Portland Lesbian Choir vs. Bike Porn 3: Cycle Bound

Portland Lesbian Choir
If you’d prefer your Friday night classy and kid-friendly, opt for the Portland Lesbian Choir’s presentation of “You Can’t Stop the Beat.” Meant to be an optimistic opening to the Pride festival, hear why this choir is going strong after 24 years and counting. Colonial Heights Presbyterian Church, 2828 SE Stephens St. 8 pm Friday, June 12. $10 advance, $12 at the door. All ages.

Bike Porn 3: Cycle Bound
“The Sexiest Bike Show in the World” is back: Bike Porn 3 explores why bikes and their riders are sexy. If pumps and derailleurs are what get your wheels turning, don’t miss a night of Bike Porn, or the Midnight Mystery Ride set to roll at the witching hour. Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton St., 238-8899. 8:15-10:15 pm Friday, June 12. $6. 21+. Midnight Mystery Ride leaves from the Pub at the End of the Universe, 4107 SE 28th Ave., at midnight. Free. All ages.

Pride Pet Parade vs. World Naked bike Ride(s)

Pride Pet Parade
For the third year in a row, the Pride festival’s Pet Parade gives it up for animals with perhaps more character and color than their owners. Categories are “Gayest Dog Pal in Portland” and, for pets that aren’t dogs (you can bet it won’t only be felines strutting this catwalk), “Gayest Pet Pal in Portland.” One pet per family, please. Pride Festival Main Stage, Tom McCall Waterfront Park. 12:30 pm Saturday, June 13. Register online at pridenw.org. Free.

World Naked Bike Ride(s)
Ride in the buff all day long! The main event is the midnight World Naked Bike Ride. The WNBR Sunny Nekkid Ride is for the sun-starved, and for ’09, the Fig Leif Naked Run/Ride introduces an Off-Road Naked Bike Ride for the hardcore naturalists. WNBR starts off at 2181 NW Nicolai St. 11:59 pm Saturday, June 13. Free. All ages. WNBR Sunny Nekkid meets at Coe Circle, Northeast 39th Avenue and Glisan Street. 2 pm. Free. All ages. Fig Leif meets at Forest Park, NW Leif Eriksen Drive. 7:30 pm. Two canned food items donation. All ages.

Get Out! Pride Dance 2009 vs. Pedalpalooza Kick-Off Dance Party

Get Out! Pride Dance 2009
The biggest Pride event specifically for lady-lovers, this party’s packed with underground flesh artists, deejays, go-go dancers and performers. Mt. Tabor Theater, 4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. 8 pm Saturday, June 13. $10 in advance, $15 at the door. Tickets available at brownpapertickets.com.

Pedalpalooza Kick-Off Dance Party
Celebrate the beginning of this more than two-week fest honoring the way you get from point A to point B. Shoes are the only required dress as the World Naked Bike ride leaves from the dance at midnight, and loops back for more booze, music and dancing ‘till dawn. Must be 18 to attend the party, and 21 to drink. 2181 NW Nicolai St.. 9 pm Saturday, June 13. Free with bike.

The Best Of Both Worlds

Pedalpalooza Gay Bike Parade and Portland Pride Parade

Allow us to plan your Sunday, June 14. Get up, don your most proud outfit (don’t forget the feathers and glitter), and hop on your bike, which should also be decked out for the occasion. Meet with similarly dressed ladies and lads gearing up for Pedalpalooza’s Gay Bike Parade at Northwest Park Avenue and Flanders Street at 10:30 am. The official Pride Parade is set to kick off from just two blocks away (Northwest Park Avenue and Davis Street) at 11:15 am. Something says this may not be a coincidence. Either way, your cycle can surely roll you over to Tom McCall Waterfront Park afterward, where the Pride Festival will be in full swing—with food, live music and booths promoting everything to civil rights to group sex clubs. Gays on bikes: a match made in Portland heaven.

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GO: Pride 2009 events take place Friday-Sunday, June 12-14. Find a full schedule at pridenw.org. Pedalpalooza takes place Thursday-Saturday, June 11-27. Find a full schedule at shift2bikes.org/cal/viewpp2009.php.

^Headout Picks

WEDNESDAY JUNE 10

[WORDS] DAVY ROTHBART
Found king Davy Rothbart returns with Requiem for a Paper Bag: Celebrities and Civilians Tell Stories of the Best Lost, Tossed, and Found Items from Around the World. Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $8 advance, $10 day of show.

THURSDAY JUNE 11

[STAGE] KING LEAR
Portland Actors Ensemble performs the play Paul Scofield called “the greatest play ever written by Shakespeare—or anybody else, for that matter.” Jeremy Lillie directs. Cathedral Park, North Edison Street and Pittsburg Road, 7:30 pm. Free.

FRIDAY JUNE 12

[MUSIC] PORTLAND CELLO PROJECT
The city’s fave cellotastic ensemble pairs with members of the Flash Choir and Rachel Blumberg to play everything from Bachianas Brasileiras No. 5 to covers of Justin Timberlake. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 233-1994. 8 pm. $13-$15.

SATURDAY JUNE 13

[MUSIC] CONSTANTINES
Ontario rockers Constantines have long been one of our best (and most underrated) bands. Expect to hear some reworked favorites alongside the usual fuzz the band is known for. Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $12. 21+.

[SCREEN] DANNY BOYLE DOUBLE FEATURE
Before he blew up by winning the Best Picture Oscar for Slumdog Millionaire, Danny Boyle actually made edgy films—Shallow Grave and Trainspotting are two of his best. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 234-9694. 8 pm. $25-$35.

SUNDAY JUNE 14

[MUSIC] SHELLAC
These days the scrawny, bespectacled Steve Albini is known mostly as a producer and lover of analog sound, but don’t forget about his band Shellac—one of the loudest and most creative indie rock bands that, like, never tours. Until now! Berbati’s Pan, 231 SW Ankeny St., 248-4579. 9 pm. $12. 21+.

TUESDAY JUNE 16

[MUSIC] THE GERMS
Though Darby Crash died years ago, actor Shane West—who starred in the biopic What We Do Is Secret as the legendary frontman and now tours with the original lineup—is doing his best to let a legacy of debauchery live on. Hawthorne Theatre, 3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 233-7100. 8 pm. $15. All ages.