STAGE

9 Parts of Desire

Louanne Moldovan directs Luisa Sermol in Heather Raffo’s extraordinary one-woman play about the lives of contemporary Iraqi women in a co-production by CoHo and Cygnet. Sermol ably embodies a dozen women, from teenagers to grandmothers, living across Iraq and watching from afar, who relate tales of abuse, torture, warfare, survival and, occasionally, love. Sure, a few of her many personas teeter on the edge of caricature, but, given the speed with which she flips between characters, it’s inevitable. The script is a harrowing affair (“They put her baby in a bag with starving cats. They recorded it, and her rape, and played it back to her husband.”) that veers occasionally into polemic—but how else are we to respond to the centuries of suffering visited upon the women of Babylon? The CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St., 220-2646. 8 pm Thursdays-Fridays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes June 14. $20-$23. All ages. Map

Einstein Is a Dummy

Awkward 12-year-old Albert Einstein struggles to keep up on his studies, woo the girl next door and solve the mysteries of time and space. Winningstad Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway., 228-9571. 2 and 7 pm Saturdays, 2 and 5 pm Sundays. Closes May 18. $19-$24. Map

An Evening with Eastland Academy

Sketch comedy by Shelley McLendon and Frayn Masters. The Back Door Theater, 4319 SE Hawthorne Blvd., myspace.com/eastlandacademy. 10:30 pm Fridays-Saturdays. Closes May 17. $8/$10. Map

For:Give

The latest project from the people behind last season’s laudable Leni and The Yellow Boat is a multidisciplinary piece, two years in the making, that evinces little in the way of discipline and nothing resembling insight. Drawing its inspiration from The Tempest, this seven-woman mess finds Prospero (or his analogue, a disturbed former executive named Priscilla) trapped not on a desert island, to which she lures her enemies to enact her revenge, but in the Mississippi Ballroom, to which she lures unsuspecting audiences for two hours of fractured, confusing and miserably boring dramatic torture. It’s not the cast’s fault that there’s so little to enjoy in this high-concept snafu. They’re fine actors, but all they have to work with are some nice lights, a bucket full of blunt declaratives and a lot of umbrellas. Coming from a purportedly professional organization, this is embarrassing. While I’ve seen worse shows this season—Roger and the Cave Monster comes to mind—none has been such a disappointment. Mississippi Rising Ballroom, 833 N Shaver St., 493-8070. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays. Closes May 17. $10-$15. Map

Freakshow-a-Go-Go

A queer-burlesque circus presented by Pants-off Productions, with performances by Beefcake Burlesque, Cattitude, the Gender Fluids, Gender Offenders, The Smarmy Chorus Girls, All of the Above and more. Hippodrome, 315 SE 3rd Ave., brownpapertickets.com. 8 pm Saturday, May 17. $10/$15. 21+. Map

The Garden Party

In the Czech Republic, even a playwright can be president—writer and intellectual Václav Havel led the country from 1987 to 2003 despite a publicly proclaimed uninterest in politics. Ironically, his first play, presented by defunkt theatre, is the story of a distracted young man who insinuates himself into a soulless bureaucracy.  It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but the wash of meaningless institutional verbiage is pleasingly mesmerizing. Go for the historical interest, but stay for 90 minutes of Orwellian nonsense. BEN WATERHOUSE. The Back Door Theater, 4319 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 481-2960. 8 pm Thursdays-Sundays. Closes May 31. $10-$15, Thursdays are pay what you will. Map

The History Boys

Alan Bennett’s prep-school sorta-romance is likely to divide audiences. If close to three hours of hyperarticulate schoolboy banter, a trio of awkward infatuations and a garnish of educational theory sounds like a good time to you, you’ll love it. I did. Though he’s prone to over-writing, Bennett’s dramatic poetry is among the best of his generation, and in History Boys he has forged an unforgettable cast of characters: the hardass headmaster, the student-groping lit teacher, the cynically provocative historian and the class of eight unnaturally bright students who want nothing more than to make it into Oxford, Cambridge or one another’s trousers. Jon Kretzu’s production is solid throughout. While the teachers are all quite good, and Chris Harder gives his best performance to date in Portland as Irwin, the sardonic young history teacher, every scene is stolen by the boys. It’s a delight to see such an energetic bunch of young actors at work. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes June 8. $20-$47. All ages. Map

The House of Blue Leaves

John Alder’s Profile Theatre production of John Guare’s most celebrated script offers a lot to laugh at and a lot to think about, too. The story of Artie Shaughnessy (Ted Roisum), an over-the-hill zookeeper who must balance a bizarre domestic life—including an alternately psychotic and sedated spouse, Bananas (Sarah Lucht); a vulgar, boisterous mistress (Trisha Todd); and a homicidal son (Mario Calcagno)—with his dreams of becoming a Hollywood songwriter, it’s obscenely over-the-top, but in a good way. The second act features ribald nuns, men in white coats and an exploding starlet. Excellent performances by all the principals, but Lucht particularly stands out as Bananas: Her prescription-induced ranting is so spot-on you’ll wonder whether those Klonopin are the real deal. JOHN MINERVINI. Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont St., 242-0080. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes June 15. $10-$28. Map

The Labyrinth of Desire

A clever woman with not so much money must keep her handsome sweetheart from marrying a rich girl. But what separates Florela (Jamie M. Rea) from the horde of literary heroines whose plight she shares is her unorthodox response: She pretends to be a man and woos the rich girl herself, with great success. In the international debut of this gender-bending comedy from playwright Caridad Svich (based on another play by 16th-century Spaniard Lope de Vega), everyone’s in disguise and no one’s wooing for the right reasons. The guys (mostly seniors at PSU) are over the top, but Clara Weishan’s portrayal of Laura—the rich girl no one really cares about—is note-perfect: She’s spoiled, infatuated and mentally unstable in just the right proportions. Unfortunately, much of the show’s dialogue is rendered as stilted Wildean repartee, but that’s the only thing that’s holding this adaptation back. JOHN MINERVINI. El Centro Milagro, 525 SE Stark St., 236-7253. 7:30 pm Thursdays, 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes May 31. $15-$20. All ages. Map

The Little Dog Laughed

A very funny comedy by Douglas Carter Beane (To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar) about Mitchell, a self-loathing gay movie star, the young rent-boy he falls for, the rent-boy’s girlfriend, and Diane, the obnoxious, sexless lesbian agent who has to make sure nobody falls out of the closet. It’s well-worn material—New Yorkers are bitchy, movie people are crass, being gay is tough, etc.—but Beane seasons the old gags with a filthy-minded wit that makes them feel fresh. The out-of-town cast is very good—particularly Antoinette LaVecchia, who plays Diane as a smart-ass Mephistopheles in a white pantsuit. High drama this is not, but there are worse ways to spend a spring evening. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays, noon Thursdays. Closes June 29. $21.50-$43.50. All ages. Map

The Long Christmas Ride Home

There’s very little Christmas spirit in Paula Vogel’s 2003 tragicomedy, which begins with an ill-fated family trip to Grandmother’s house and follows the lingering effects of one awful night through the children’s adult lives. Vertigo’s production, directed by Kristan Seemel, is steeped in Japanese theatrical tradition, from the pagoda-themed set to the kimono-ish costumes and Noh-influnced choreography. It’s lovely, and makes a striking contrast to the play’s decidedly Western themes of infidelity and domestic violence. BEN WATERHOUSE. Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont St., 306-0870. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays. Closes May 17. $15, Thursdays are pay what you will. All ages. Map

The Mystery of Edwin Drood

Rupert Holmes' choose-your-own-adventure musical adaptation of Dickens' last, unfinished novel. Ron Daum directs. Lakewood Center for the Arts, 368 S State St., Lake Oswego., 635-3901. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 and 7 pm Sundays. Closes June 8. $26-$28. All ages. Map

Nobody Here But Us Chickens

A trio of one-acts unrelated but for a shared theme of disability. The first plays with our perceptions of psychosis, the second asks whether an obsession with physical fitness can itself be a disability, and the third offers a surprising and endearing twist on the classic British sex farce. Third Rail Rep’s production is very good, nailing the sight gags and one-liners and letting the author’s agenda sink in on its own. You could hardly ask for a better cast: John Steinkamp, Damon Kupper, Michael O’Connell, Maureen Porter, Valerie Stevens and Philip Cuomo are a veritable comedy all-star team. The company’s usual design team has been busy, too—the seemingly simple set hides some devilish tricks BEN WATERHOUSE. Interstate Firehouse Cultural Center, 5340 N Interstate Ave., 235-1101. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes May 24. $16-$25. Map

P.I.G. (Portland Improv Group)

Long-form, improvised musical comedy. The CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St., 10:45 pm Saturdays. Closes May 31. $7 (cash only). All ages. Map

Pinnochio Exposed! The Blue Fairy Tells All!

Theatre Uber Alles deconstructs the Italian morality tale. There will be a cake walk. Eagles Lodge, 4904 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 285-6786. 7:30 pm Fridays-Sundays. Closes May 18. $5-$7. All ages. Map

Robin Hood

Brian Allard directs Blue Monkey Theater Company's sassy production of the classic Sherwood shenanigans. West End Theater, 1220 SW Taylor St., 593-2466. 7 pm Fridays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes June 8. $16-$20. All ages. Map

Scratch PDX

Portland's monthly performance "open stage." BEN WATERHOUSE. Hipbone Studio, 1847 E Burnside St., 10 pm Saturdays. $5. All ages. Map

She Stoops to Conquer

New Group Theatre Company is back with Oliver Goldsmith's 200-year-old farce, performed by five actors playing all 19 parts. Shoe Box Theater, 2110 SE 10th Ave., 312-6789. 7 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes May 17. $10. Map

Sleeping Beauty

Northwest Children's Theater gives the sleepy gal the ol' song-and-dance treatment. NW Neighborhood Cultural Center, 1819 NW Everett St., 222-4480. 7 pm Fridays, 2 pm Saturdays, 2 and 6 pm Sundays. $10-$20. Map

A Streetcar Named Desire

There’s nothing like a little Tennessee Williams to ruin your weekend. Jon Kretzu sets the Pulitzer-winning coming-of-rape drama in Blanche’s moldy padded room, relating the story as a series of remembrances. A bearded doctor sits just offstage throughout the first act, occasionally nodding as Blanche (Andrea Frankle) relives her doomed visit to New Orleans. Kretzu’s vision doesn’t add much to the story, but it isn’t actively detrimental. Indeed, all that really changes is the set and Blanche’s exits. She doesn’t get any, and scene changes are covered up with moments of fantasy cliché: a disco ball, falling rose petals. Kretzu’s cast is mostly strong, though none of the men can hold on to a Southern accent. Mic Matarrese is huge and terrifying as Stanley, but his performance falters when he drops the beastliness. He comes on with such fury from the first scene that his tender moments aren’t quite believable. The real standout here isn’t Stanley, or even Blanche, but Stella. Val Landrum imbues the part with a feline languor and understated eroticism that is instantly appealing. Blanche may get all the abuse, but it’s poor, dumb, passionate Stella that we cry for. BEN WATERHOUSE. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes May 18. $20-$47. Map

Voices of the People's History of the Unites States

Viggo Mortensen (yeah, him) and some notable Portlanders read from Howard Zinn's new collection of primary sources that accompany his classic work of historical revisionism. First Baptist Church, 909 SW 11th Ave., info@illahee.org. 8 pm Friday, May 16. $20, $10 students. All ages. Map

Who Stole My Dead Husband?

Lou Pallotta’s Italo-sploitation family dinner theater, starring Jim Caputo. Madison's East Wing, 1125 SE Madison St., 800-966-8865. 7:30 pm Fridays-Saturdays. Open-ended run. $64-$69, dinner included. All ages. Map

The Wild Party

As a show, The Wild Party is less than the sum of its parts. Its several memorable songs are lost amid a schizophrenic tapestry of musical styles, and it suffers from absolute deficits of plot and dialogue. It’s not much of a musical to begin with, and John Oules’ Live On Stage production can’t salvage it. In the style of Chicago, vaudeville performer Queenie throws a (wild) party with the aim of making her boyfriend jealous. She ends up getting him killed instead. Oops. Queenie (Erin Charles) is fine—she looks great, too—but the rest of the cast lags. Anne Hargreaves (Madeline True) could have had much more fun with “An Old-Fashioned Love Story,” hands-down the best song in the show. The choreography (Robert Guitron) isn’t any good, either: A solo performance by mute Jackie (Paul Irvin) at the end of Act II was faintly reminiscent of Corky’s dance solo in Waiting for Guffman. JOHN MINERVINI. World Trade Center, 121 SW Salmon St., 280-5483. 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays, May 2-31. $27-$30. All ages. Map

CLASSICAL

Aida

Portland Opera mounts Verdi's enormous Egyptian tragedy on a 10-year-old set. Lisa Daltirus, who has received rave reviews across the country in innumerable productions of Tosca, sings the title role. BEN WATERHOUSE. Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay St., 241-1802. 7:30 pm Thursday and Saturday, May 15 and 17; 2 pm Sunday, May 11. $41.75-$147.75. Map

Cappella Romana

Anyone who thinks global fusion music started with Paul Simon’s Graceland or the Talking Heads’ Fear of Music should look a little farther back—to 14th and 15th century Cyprus, a Mediterranean meetup between Western European and Byzantine cultural streams, a sort of New Orleans of its day. Richard the Lionheart’s conquest of the island brought strong French influences that enriched austere Greek Byzantine chant with long, lyrical melodies and rich textures. A revelatory 1991 album by Project Ars Nova brought this haunting music—some of the most beautiful of the last millennium—to many modern ears, but there's no group more qualified to sing it than Portland’s own Byzantine experts, Cappella Romana, whose director Alexander Lingas researched the music at various libraries around the Mediterranean. The sublime nine-member ensemble will perform music from ancient Cypriot manuscripts in both Byzantine and Western styles. A pre-concert talk will focus on the multicultural interactions—and, alas, still-simmering conflicts—of this cultural crossroads (currently riven between Greek and Turkish governments), including its possible political reunification. BRETT CAMPBELL. St. Mary's Cathedral, 1716 NW Davis St., 800-838-3006. 8 pm Friday, May 16. $15-$30. Map

Darin Qualls and Cary Lewis

The award-winning violinist and pianist play music of Bach, Grieg, Szymanowski and Faure. BRETT CAMPBELL. The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave., 800-838-3006. 8 pm Saturdays, May 10 and 17. $10-$25. Map

Janet Hackett and Michael Barnes

For this sack lunch concert, the soprano and pianist play Samuel Barber’s movingly nostalgic Knoxville Summer of 1915 (from James Agee’s novel) along with music by Beethoven, Brahms, Schubert and more. BRETT CAMPBELL. The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave., 222-2031. Noon Wednesday, May 14. Free. Map

Oregon Sinfonietta

Adria Ye, the 10-year-old pianist who won the Oregon Concerto Competition, solos in Mozart’s Piano Concerto No. 24. Dvorak’s Symphony No. 6 concludes the program. BRETT CAMPBELL. Sunnyside Adventist Church, 10501 SE Market St., 285-7621. 3 pm Sunday. $5 donation suggested. All ages. Map

Oregon Symphony

The symphony closes its season with two very different yet equally compelling works from the 1930s. Olivier Messiaen’s The Ascension sets four biblical passages to colorful music that moves from contemplative to exultant to transcendent. Carl Orff’s Carmina Burana has long been sniffed at as simplistic by elitist, complexity-loving critics, but that hasn’t impeded the dramatic cantata’s deserved popularity. Orff set ballads celebrating sex, gambling, and imbibing to excess, drawn from a manuscript written by some frisky medieval Bavarian friars, to tunes that are rhythmically propulsive and instantly catchy. By turns bawdy, funny, raucous and occasionally tender, Carmina Burana isn’t the 20th century’s most profound music, but it’s a lot of fun—so much so that a hilarious viral video (carmina.ytmnd.com) and NBA and NHL commercials have introduced it to millions of listeners. It’s one of the few classical music gems that can play on the same broadcast as the Blazers’ spectacular, home-season-ending, back-to-back, Sergio-Rodriguez-to-Travis-Outlaw alley-oop reverse jams without diminishing the excitement. With soprano Cyndia Sieden, tenor Nicholas Phan, baritone Stephen Powell, the Portland Symphonic Choir and Pacific Youth Choir. Warning: sell-outs likely. BRETT CAMPBELL. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway., 248-4335. 7:30 pm Saturday-Sunday, May 17-18, and 8 pm Monday, May 19. $15-$120. All ages. Map

Srekala Bharath and her troupe of dancers and musicians

As a recent spellbinding concert by the amazing Karnatic singer T. M. Krishna, violinist R.K. Shriram Kumar and drummer Arun Prakash demonstrated, Portland’s Rasika remains one of the city’s most vital world music institutions. This multimedia performance brings a rare opportunity to see the acclaimed choreographer-teacher-dancer Bharath and her troupe, now touring the U.S. with a program of classical South Indian Bharatha Natyam thematic dance and music.  BRETT CAMPBELL. PCC Rock Creek Auditorium, 17705 NW Springville Road., 690-5906. 6 pm Saturday, May 17. $15-$25. All ages. Map

Sunnyside Symphony Orchestra

With vocal assistance from Sunnyside Adventist Choir and the Temple Choir of the First Baptist Church of Portland, the orchestra plays Haydn’s magnificent oratorio, The Creation, which starts, appropriately, with a big bang. BRETT CAMPBELL. Sunnyside Adventist Church, 10501 SE Market St., 252-8080. 6 pm Sunday, May 18. Free. All ages. Map

DANCE

DanceWorks Ensemble

The Taipei-based tap company DanceWorks Ensemble pays us a visit as part of our local Taiwanese Heritage Week celebration. The 12-member company’s credits include repeat invitations to the massive New York Tap Festival and the creation of the large-scale tap ballets What’s Up and Tap Code. Their performance will be followed by a social hour. HEATHER WISNER. South Waterfront Discovery Center, 0680 SW Bancroft St., 222-7788. 3-5 pm Saturday, May 17. Reservations suggested. Free. Map

Do Jump!: Entusiasmo!

You’ll find dancers actually jumping for joy in the Do Jump! show Entusiasmo! although they’ll have a little help getting airborne from acrobatic devices including harnesses, ropes and a trapeze. Entusiasmo! is based on Alan Weisman’s book Gaviotas: A Village to Reinvent the World, which tells the true tale of a Colombian village that reinvented itself by regenerating a rainforest on once-barren territory and developing sustainable technology through trial, error and unflagging optimism. Do Jump!'s acrobatics and aerial dance are framed by a narrative in English and Spanish, traditional Colombian music by Los Llaneros and original live music by composer Joan Szymko. HEATHER WISNER. Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway., 213-1232. 7:30 pm Fridays-Saturdays, 3 pm Sundays May 17-31, plus 2 pm Saturday, May 31. $25-$35. All ages. Map

Faith Hunt Levine

Translations, a new work by modern choreographer Faith Hunt Levine, is sort of like the old game of Telephone, in which the original message changes shape and meaning from one messenger to the next. Levine’s dancers will take the same movement phrase and interpret it as they see fit, allowing for improvised performance and reaction. Levine’s travels abroad prompted her to think about how body language and gestures influence what’s being said—and heard. Music by Moby, Yael Naim and Yo-Yo Ma propels the piece, danced by a 13-member cast. HEATHER WISNER. Performance Works NW, 4625 SE 67th Ave., 801-853-3052. 8 pm Thursday-Saturday, May 15-17. $8-$15. Map