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Sports Bars Slide into home. BY MAC MONTANDON 243-2122 EXT. 349 Most sports bars offer a study in contrast. On one hand they are bright, noisy places, rife with flashing lights and blaring televisions, plastered with gaudy advertising posters--a nexus of modernity's commercialism. They are also, however, one of the few public places you can still engage in the near-forgotten art of conversation. Sports bars brings people together in a world that otherwise cubicles its citizens while banishing them to chat rooms. Here is a place where you invariably talk to strangers--in the flesh. Moreover, a dialogue conceived in the finer points--and peculiar dialect--of sports ("If UConn can keep Windexing the glass, leaving the Dukies one and done, they've got a chance!") often leads to other topics. While watching a baseball game once in bar, a fellow with a meshed cap and damp brow started chatting with me. At first we discussed whether one club should steal with an out and runners at the corners. Soon, though, he was telling me through a tight, twitching mouth about the rough L.A. neighborhood he grew up in. At one point he stood up suddenly and lifted his T-shirt to reveal a round belly with a scar about a foot long drawn down the middle of it. Usually, of course, sports bars are places of levity and lively debate. At certain times of the year--October's World Series, January's Super Bowl--you can always find a spirited crowd willing to join you in celebrating or cursing a champion, depending on your allegiance. Any self-respecting sports bar has many distractions from life's crueler currents: many TVs playing the day's games (and if the one you wants to see isn't on, they'll put it on), pinball, video games and cold, cheap beer. At most of the places listed below you can get a chilly Bud for about $2. And this being Portland, you can usually find several bottled or kegged ales, lagers and stouts as well. A&L SPORTS PUB When picking a sports bar to catch a ballgame in while throwing a couple cold ones back, remember this simple advice: The more the place looks like a space ship from the outside, the more sports-crazed the bar is inside. A&L proves this maxim as well as any bar. The boxy building sits under a cluster of satellites. Neon beer signs streak across the narrow windows. The heavy, black door swings wide, opening into an airy husk of an interior. The layout here lets you feel close to the action on the screen. Sitting at one of a row of tables with a clear view of a large-screen TV, you can imagine you're really in the rafters of Madison Square Garden. All your favorite micros are on tap here--Widmer, Full Sail, Red Hook, Deschutes--and many proven suds, too--Guinness, Bass, Foster's and Hamm's. 5933 NE GLISAN ST., 234-7606. OPEN DAILY. BEER AND WINE. CAL-SPORT The name of this bar always sounds clipped to me, like there's some part of it being left out. Conversely, the range of activities available here leaves almost no form of recreation out. A small dance floor sits below a ceiling thatched by sports pennants. There are two pool tables, two real (not electronic) dart boards, a karaoke machine, and even a "Socca room"--a small, mirrored annex sometimes cranking calypso. Pints of Black Butte Porter or Guinness go down easy while lounging on church pew-style benches, upholstered with a collage of players from several different sports. 1033 NW 16TH AVE., 223-0099. OPEN DAILY. BEER, WINE AND LIQUOR. CHEERFUL TORTOISE Furnishing not one but two faux-fireplaces, the Cheerful Tortoise is by far the coziest sports bar in town. (True, one doesn't usually go to a sports bar to be cozy.) Just a New York block from PSU, it is also, naturally, a great place for checking out collegiate athletics. Knowledgeable fans gather here for the games, beers and food. A large menu includes everything from French toast to burritos. CT's kitchen also turns out high-grade pub food. Amid décor that conjures images of a honky-tonk, you can grab a perfectly chilled Sierra Nevada and head for the pool tables in the back of the bar if your team either isn't playing or is depressingly far behind. 1939 SW 6TH AVE., 224-3377. OPEN DAILY. BEER, WINE AND LIQUOR. CLAUDIA'S If your a sports fan in Portland, you've most likely been here. Claudia's represents a confluence of all that can be good about a sports bar: large, uninhibited crowds, hearty burgers, sandwiches and soups, quirky décor--in this case a line of cushiony thrones at the bar--about a million TVs and a river of beer. Catering to a younger crowd than some of the other sporting spots in town, this bar keeps a full selection of microbrews on tap. Additionally, it offers many new or obscure bottled beers, including Tequiza, Anheiser-Busch's trail-blazing tequila-and-lime-flavored lager. There's plenty of seating around the lone, large-screen TV, but if you come here for a major sports event it's still a good idea to arrive early if you want to put your dogs up. CLAUDIA'S, 3006 SE HAWTHORNE BLVD., 232-1744. OPEN DAILY. BEER AND WINE.