Don't fear the
gate crasher:
Portland Meadows
1001
N Schmeer Road
KOMEDY
SO WAKKY IT HURTZ!
I love having money, lots and lots of money. But 99 percent
of the time, I don't. Therefore, I am constantly on the
lookout for bargains: $1.40 PBR cans at McPeets,
stiff liquor drinks at the Space Room, and free concerts
at the Portland Meadows.
That's right--free.
Directly across the street from the Meadows is a construction-supply
company. Twenty-foot-tall piles of rock and gravel lie scattered
throughout the large lot. Pick one. Climb it. Sit down.
You now have a free seat.
Although the music sounds great, you can't see the performers.
But if you bring a lawn chair and a surreptitious supply
of liquor, you can have a rocking party in your own private
skybox.
My first experience with this free ride was at this spring's
Bob Dylan show. I really wanted to see Mr. Zimmerman,
but after the cheap seats sold out, 40 bucks a pop was too
rich for my red American blood. What to do? After carefully
checking with my spirit guides, tea leaves and bookmakers,
I decided to camp out with the hippies atop the piles of
sand.
A pretty interesting crowd gathers on these dunes. Fifteen
minutes after arriving at my perch, I met an alien claiming
to be a local Portlander. His name was Solimar, and he had
a twin sister named Marisol. They told me their birth was
prophesied by a wandering preacher on Stinson Beach, Calif.
Spooky!
My appetite whetted, I returned for the No Doubt
concert, convinced something manic was bound to happen.
I was not disappointed. Things got out of hand long before
Gwen Stefani took the stage. During one of the opening acts,
somebody was seriously injured in a crowd-surfing accident.
The show stopped while ambulances, fire trucks and all other
sorts of official-looking clown cars made their way to the
immobile body. A word of wisdom from the band: "Folks, if
you weigh over 200 pounds, you should stay on the ground."
Hey--it's good advice.
Meanwhile, on the dunes, a crazy couple too drunk to walk
gave its best Al and Peg Bundy impression. Al: "Hey, you
gonna pass that, or what?" Peg: "Hey, you gonna pass out,
or what?"
That evening, I was also lucky enough to share these cheapest
of cheap seats with a gang of fun-loving carnies and a gay
biker straddling a canary-yellow Harley. If you dare to
become the "next contestant" on this grimy game of The
Price Is Right, who knows what new friends you'll make?
Michael Feney
Side-splitting!
Harvey's Comedy Club, 436 NW 6th Ave.,
241-0338. 8 pm Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday;
8 and 10:30 pm Friday; 6:30, 9 and 11:30 pm Saturday, Sept.
6-10. $8-$10
ComedySportz
Competitive all-ages improv--almost as fun as fighting
with knives!
1963 NW Kearney St., 236-8888. 9 pm Friday, 7:30 and
9:30 pm Saturday, Sept. 8-9. $10, $9 with can of food for
Oregon Food Bank
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