Everyone has a favorite clothing item. Most likely it's
a T-shirt. You probably know where your favorite tee is
right now: neatly tucked away in a drawer, rolled into a
sweaty ball at the bottom of the laundry basket or hanging
on your back.
You sport it--even if it's rattier than hell--more often
than you do underwear. These highly personalized billboards,
tainted with evidence, broadcast the trials and tribulations
you and your beloved have struggled through together: your
first rock concert; an attempt at auto repair on Highway
26 on a hot day in July; wolfing down hot sauce-laden Taco
Bell burritos at 2 am; spilling merlot all over yourself
on a first date.
This T-shirt is worn and soft, and it comforts you like
a treasured quilt. But when someone tries to get between
you and your dearest garment--"Hey, let's use it to clean
the toilet"--you recoil in horror. Giving up something that
has become your second skin can be tougher than most breakups.
But it's not necessary to go cold turkey when your epidermis
starts to peek through that trusty, threadbare covering.
Wean yourself off of it gradually by finding a new favorite
T-shirt before the old one disintegrates. Difficult, yes,
but necessary. The transition might even be less painful
than you think. Here's a sampling of tomorrow's favorite
T-shirts that Portland stores offer. Buy one that feels
right, start by wearing it for short periods of time--then
get thee to Taco Bell.
Retread Threads
On the main level you'll find new T-shirts by local and
national designers. Upstairs it's all about irresistible
'70s relics (around $10) with cap sleeves and familiar logos
(think Tab, Tahoe and palm trees). Huge California designer
Paul Frank's cute and coveted T-shirts ($22) feature monkeys,
giraffes and retro-inspired graphics. Grab one of his matching
leather wrist cuffs ($14) in baby blue or pink to top it
off. Designs by Digital Evangelism ($22) are emblazoned
with retro snapshots and graphics (family photos, old cookbooks,
nature scenes) juxtaposed with incongruous messages (recommended
for kitschy and cynical bastards). Truck! T-shirts
($18) are hot here, too. The supposed inspiration for creator
P. Fred Walker's design (a broken-down 1964 Kaiser Jeep
forward-control crewcab known as "Truck!" that he had to
leave behind when he moved out west) is damn touching. Don't
miss the Fine label's Good & Evil cap-sleeve, printed
tees and matching, ruffled bloomers ($18). 931 SW Oak
St., 916-0000.
Ozone Records
Ready to stir shit up at the next family gathering? Choose
from an array of anti-establishment and rock T-shirts (grandmas
love Skinny Puppy) at indie-minded Ozone. Most are only
$13, and they feature lots of local bands (the Viles, Pinehurst
Kids, etc.) in addition to Sonic Youth, godheadSilo, Esquivel,
Bauhaus, Royal Trux and others. Piss off the Hawthorne crowd
with a "Visualize No Hippies" tee. 1036 W Burnside St.,
227-1975.
Fred Meyer
Believe it or not, for those who like the simple things
in life, Fred Meyer is the place for classic T-shirts. White
cotton Hanes T-shirts--crew or v-neck--are only $14 for
a three-pack. The plain white T-shirt remains one of the
sexiest wardrobe pieces ever invented. Don one of these
crisp numbers next time you wake up hung over and and watch
the honeys swoon at breakfast regardless of your bleary
eyes and unkempt mop. Besides, they match everything you
own. Grab some Rit dye ($1.79) when things get dull. Various
locations.
Scrap
It's time to quit blaming your mom for getting rid of all
your cool '70s T-shirts when the oversized, sloppy '80s
versions captured your heart. Quit your whining and buy
back your faves at this unassuming treasure trove of shirts
emblazoned with logos ranging from Acapulco and Sergio Valente
to Adidas, as well as various over-the-hill sentiments.
Most are around 10 bucks. Studies show dramatically improved
Centipede and Tempest scores from kids wearing these. 2038
SE Belmont St.
Newberry's
Two bucks for new T-shirts with wacky logos at this weirdo,
time-trapped store? Well, okay, there is a catch:
These shirts are fucked up--mostly in a fun way, though.
You'll notice seams gone wrong, discolorations and peculiar
puckers on these shirts boasting illustrations of kitties,
motorcycles and goofy slogans But who cares? A deal is a
deal. 1420 Lloyd Center, 288-6353.
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