Gadgetry
BY
TREVOR KEARNEY
CONFIDENTIAL COMMUNICATION
Sometimes technology just isn't reliable: E-mail gets
read by who knows how many people, cell-phone conversations
are intercepted, self-destructing messages go off too soon.
Help your most paranoid pals secure their secrets with an
arsenal of
Little Silver Message Bullets ($.95, Presents
of Mind, 3633 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 230-7740). A tiny, unobtrusive
silver capsule unscrews to reveal a small scroll of paper,
perfect for notes and plans of the most confidential kind.
They can be buried in a potted palm, stowed in a pair of
socks or slipped to another person's hand most surreptitiously.
And for under a buck, a fistful of bullets makes nice filler
for stockings or gift bags.
MISSION PERISHABLE
Your mission, should you choose
to accept it, is to sneak a little latex into your loved
one's life, and Lucky Devils' Liquid Latex ($16.99,
Bad Attitude Boutique, 3312 SE Belmont St., 235-6990)
is the perfect way to do it. This 16-ounce jar of rubber,
which contains 65 percent water, 34.7 percent latex and
a touch of ammonia to prevent spoilage, "self-vulcanizes"
(dries) at room temperature, giving instant latex satisfaction
in the tightest of situations. It comes in three colors--red
or green for the holidays and purple because it's naughty--and
washes off any non-porous surface with soap and water.
Fabric tends to self-destruct upon contact; please use
only when naked.
DIGITAL UNDERGROUND
Gardeners need gadgets too, so take technology to
the backyard with the PlantSmart Gardener's Computer
($30 at Brookstone).
This black-and-green 3-in-1 gadget digs deep into the
soil with a 9-inch metal probe to test for pH and moisture
levels while measuring for proper light exposure. It can
be used indoors or out and runs on a 9-Volt battery; the
results are displayed on a large print LCD screen. And
for optimum growing, PlantSmart comes with a booklet that
divines what will grow in a given patch of soil and what
to do to produce the plants you're missing. Green thumbs
never had it so easy.
ESCAPE ARTIST
Ever notice how movie stars pop out of a car wreck quicker
than they do the wrecking? Here's the real-life secret:
the Auto
Escape Hammer ($18, Latitudes Luggage, Lloyd Center,
282-3264). This gun-shaped gadget includes a retractable
nail to puncture air bags, a chrome-plated tip to break
windows, a stainless-steel blade to cut seatbelts and
a flashlight that runs on a single AAA battery. It attaches
to the carpet or console with two sturdy grip-strips and
has a glow-in-the-dark decal for easy locating. Here's
hoping the recipient won't ever need to use it.
PUMP UP FOR THE HOLIDAYS
Austin Powers proved that
no man of mystery is complete without some kind of pump,
so get your gadget guru the Jokari Wine Air-Vac Pump
Cork ($4.99, Cost Plus World Market, 2315 NW Westover
Road, 916-1606), a kitchen tool no one will be afraid
to claim as his own. Providing you leave something in
the bottle, this high-tech bottle stopper will keep any
wine leftovers fresh "for weeks," though you've got to
shell out nearly twice as much for the Champagne Pump
Cap, which promises to prolong the life of bubbly. Simply
push the long, tapered cork gently into the bottle and
pump the handle about 20 times, depending on the bottle
type and amount left, to remove the air and keep the wine
fresh. Groovy, baby. Yeah.
LICENSE TO SPEND
Perfect for the 007 wannabe without a license to kill,
the ToolLogic Money Clip ($20, Brookstone,
638 SW 5th Ave., 295-2470) has just the right mix of absurd
gadgetry and everyday practicality to quench any Everyday
Agent's thirst for stealth. Weighing in at just half an
ounce, this eight-function pocket tool features a red
mini-light, a tiny ballpoint pen, standard and Phillips-head
mini-screwdrivers just big enough to fix a pair of glasses,
and a 3-in-1 blade that can be positioned to slice paper,
open letters or cut boxes. Oh, and it'll keep their bills
safe, too--at the ready to spend on women and wine.
I SPY
It doesn't have the endorsement of agents
Mulder or Scully, but the X-Scope ($20, The Discovery
Channel Store, Pioneer Place, 700 SW 5th Ave., 222-0015)
does have power. The palm-sized pocket tool features all-glass
optics and magnifies up to 30 times the original size
when in microscope mode, and six times when used as a
telescope. It also has a built-in magnifying glass, compass,
signal whistle and flashlight. The retractable eyepiece
can be pulled out to see the scene from a distance and
pushed in for a closer inspection of all the evidence.
SECRET AGENT BAND
In the spirit of secret decoder rings and other cereal-box
treasures, the Crystal Rocket Radio ($10,
Restoration Hardware, 315 NW 23rd Ave., 228-6226)
will restore a person's faith in simplicity: This rocket-shaped
novelty runs without tubes, batteries, transistors or
electricity. Just hook the alligator antenna clip to a
makeshift antenna--any metal structure will do, though
a metal pipe is recommended--and slowly pull the tuning
rod out of the rocket until you hear the loudest signal
in the tiny ear piece, which will go undetected in the
most formal situations. Small enough to fit in a pocket,
the radio is a replica of the 1950s model popularized
by the first space travels--only now you don't have to
dig through a whole box of crispy rice to get one.
NOT SHAKEN, NOT STIRRED, BUT SPRAYED
The world
may not be enough for Bond, but this curious drink-maker
may be more than enough for the guy who fancies himself
a dashing, international interloper. Be prepared for any
situation with the Misto Martini Sprayer ($15.95,
The Kobos Company, various locations). A pocket-sized
younger sibling of those sleek oil sprayers that have
invaded contemporary kitchens, the Martini Sprayer has
a tiny glass bottle that fits inside a silver container
and a pump action that allows you to spray the perfect
Martini wherever you go. Complete with a tiny funnel to
fill the bottle, this uptown accessory comes with a tiny
drink catalog to guide your tastes in the right direction.
And it's small enough to fit in your breast pocket, so
there's no excuse to leave home without it.
